Tuesday, July 31, 2007

To Make Matters Worst

My visit with my brother and his family went well but I was a little disappointed. See I took my nephews out around town, hoping that I would run into Sara but I didn't. If I only knew where she lived, then I would be a creepy stalker! Man I need some distraction, she's all I think about now!

Sara didn't show up at work Sunday and she didn't call in either. There were a few times that night, as I was on my way back to the staff room, that I wanted to stop and give her a call but I didn't.

We were in the staff room for lunch when Rachael, the new chick that was working with me, asked me what was wrong. "Nothing," I told her without looking up from my plastic container of lasagna.

"Yeah right," she scoffed. "You barely said anything all night."

I was about to tell her I had stuff on my mind when Billy came running into the staff room, skidding to a stop just before he hit the table I was sitting at. "Tanner! Sara's here, she just walked in and went to talk to Judy in the office."

Forgetting my lunch, not caring if everyone was staring, I jumped up from the table and ran out of the room with Billy on my heel. "Slow down man," he called out to me but I wasn't about to stop for him, I had to make sure that Sara was ok, that she wasn't handing in her resignation.

The door to the office was closed when I got to the front, I wanted to bust the damn thing down but I managed to control myself, just.

Billy caught up and was no leaning over, almost gasping for air. "Are you going to be ok?" I stared at him, almost wishing he would pass out so I would have a reason to go into the office.

"I'm ok," he told me as the office door opened.

"Well Sara I am glad you came to talk to me about this, I hope that..." Judy spotted Billy and I standing there and she raised a brow. "Did you need something?"

"No," I told her but I was looking at Sara, who was refusing to meet my gaze.

Judy told Sara that she would see her later and disappeared back into the office.

Billy went to Sara the second Judy left, while I stood rooted in place; all I could think was how much it would suck around here without her.

I must have zoned out because the next thing I know, Sara is saying bye and walking out the doors. "Where is she going?" I snapped at Billy but didn't wait for him to answer as I took off after Sara.

She was unlocking her car when I caught up with her, she glanced up at me. "I have to go Tanner."

"Do you have too?" I asked her. "Can't you stay?" She shook her head. "Why are you here? What did you talk to Judy about?"

"Tanner I really need to get going, it's been a long day."

I turned away from her and leaned against her car. "Tell me you didn't give your notice."

"You have to get back to work," she told me as she looked around the parking lot. "All the smokers are going in, lunch is over."

"Just tell me damn it!" Sara jumped. "I'm sorry," I mumbled.

Sighing, she moved closer to me, her hand curled around my bicep and she looked up at me. "My father had a heart attack just before I went to leave for work tonight," she told me. "My parents were out here visiting one of their friends when it happened, I've been sitting in the hospital all night with mom. I'm tired Tanner, I just want to go home and sleep."

I felt like a bastard. "Is he ok?" She was shaking her head before I even finished the question. "Oh Sara," I turned to her, taking her into my arms as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

"He died before I even got there," she told me. "Mom was a wreck, the doctor gave her something to calm her down and they wanted to keep her in over night to make sure she would be ok. She didn't want to me stay with her, she told me to call Ken and get him to come out for me but I..." she sobbed against my chest. "I'm scared Tanner."

I think I told her it was normal to feel scared, at least I hope that's what I told her. She was shaking so badly as I held her, I wondered how she even managed to drive from the hospital like that, then I realized that she was only here because she couldn't drive any further.

I asked her if there was any one in town that we could call to come for her but she said she didn't know anyone. I asked her about her parents friends but she shook her head and told me that she didn't know them that well. "I'll just call Ken," she told me. "He'll come out and get me."

Since I didn't want him around her at all, I tried to convince her to take my keys and go to my parent's house but she refused. "It's almost four in the morning Tanner! You can't just call them and wake them up, they'll think something terrible has happened to you!"

"They will understand when I tell them what happened. Sara you look worn out, you said yourself that you were tired. Do you really want to wait here until Ken drives in when you could easily go to my parent's house and crawl into bed within ten minutes, twenty tops!"

She told me no, she said she was calling Ken as she pulled out her cell and dialed his number. I don't know if it was wrong of me but I was actually happy when she snapped the phone closed and told me that he wouldn't be coming out for her because he was plastered.

Sara waited in her car as I ran into the store to grab my keys. "Drive safe," I told her after giving her the house key. "I'll see you in a couple hours."

"Thank you," she said with a slight smile.

When I got home that morning, she was sleeping soundly in my room. I did everything I needed to do and then crawled in next to her.

I woke up four hours later to no Sara but a note thanking me for being her friend and caring about her. "I'll call you later," she wrote.

She called me just before work last night and as we talked, she told me that the funeral would be Wednesday.

I don't like funerals, I can't stand being that close to a dead body but I'm going to go because she asked me too.

Is it wrong to hope that the bastard won't be there? Is it wrong to want to be the one to comfort her?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do whatever you can to 'be there' for Sara. She needs to decide on her own to get away from the abuser.

ctiger said...

No it is not wrong to hope Ken won't be there or to want to comfort her. God knows if he was there he wouldn't comfort her anyway. I hope for the best for her and it was a very sad post to read. I really feel so sorry for Sara. She is such a good person to have so much bad happen. Be there for her as much as you can.

Chris

Anonymous said...

I HATE that she was gone in the morning! :-(

Poor Tanner and poor Sara! I'm glad he's acting mature and trying to be her friend instead of just trying to get into her pants.

Vikki said...

It's not wrong at all!! Tanner should definitely go and comfort her. The way the bastard treats her, he probably won't be there anyway.