Monday, November 10, 2008

Caring For The Sick

Even though I toyed with the idea of moving on from Sara, I knew the moment I saw here standing in the doorway of the hospital room, it would be easier said than done. There was something about the way she stood there watching my parents and me that made all thoughts of finding anyone else, hard to swallow. For the first tie in my life, I found myself not wanting anyone else.

Although it was very strange for me to feel that way, it was exciting as well. As my mom fussed over me, I couldn't help but wonder what it was about the shy, uncertain, reserved woman that made all the other women I meet seem like skanky whores? And since when did that skankyness not turn me on?

Pondering that, I couldn't help but stare past my parents, tuning out their chatter as I studied her. I was surprised to see her standing there, I honestly didn't think that anyone would've called her but I should've known the difference, Anna liked to interfere and she liked Sara, so it was only natural for her to call her and let her know I was hurt. With her hair pulled back in a ponytail I came to despise when we worked together, I couldn't help but notice that she looked tired, like everyone else I've seen since I woke up. I wondered if it had anything to do with being woken up late at night or if she had even gone to bed when she got off work Friday morning - many times she didn't sleep on her first day off, she always kept going until she just couldn't function anymore.

But, I frowned as I took in the clothes she was wearing - jeans and a t-shirt, her work 'uniform'. Hair in ponytail, jeans and t-shirt? Was she working? I glanced around the room, confused as I wondered if it was in fact Saturday morning or if I was actually out longer than I thought.

No, it's Saturday morning. It has to be, otherwise mom and dad would've been here already. Then why...? It was messing with my mind to see Sara in work clothes on a Saturday morning when she was supposed to have Friday and Saturday nights off.

"Tanner?" My mom moved into my line of sight, a worried look on her face as she reached out and pressed her hand against my forehead. "My poor baby," she sat on the edge of the hospital bed and asked me if I was feeling ok.

"I'm -"

"Of course, you aren't." Mom cut in before I could tell her I was fine. "I'm going to find the doctor," she told meas she stood up. "I want to know everything that's wrong with my baby." I tried to tell her I was fine, just in a little pain but she refused to believe me. Grabbing my father's hand, she told me she'd be right back.

"Oh hello Sara, I didn't see you there." Letting go of my father she gave Sara a hug. "You'll keep him company," she told her. "It'll do him good to spend some time with you."

When my parents left the room, I half expected Sara to be reserved and need coaxing to come closer to me but she surprised me by confidently striding across the room. Confidently that is, until she tripped and stumbled.

"Well," she chuckled in embarrassment when she caught and righted herself. "That was smooth."

"Very," I snorted, my attempt to hide my laughter failing miserably.

"Go ahead," she grinned as she came to stand at the side of my bed. "Laugh it up, it's so good to hear."

I laughed until I thought I was going to cry from the pain. "Oh it hurts," I groaned as I folded my arms over my midsection.

Sara looked so concerned, I thought for sure she was going to start to fuss over me, something I really didn't want from her - from anyone really. Trying hard not to cringe from the worrying I thought was about to come from her, I waited.

There was a light in her eyes as she told me to stop laughing then.

"I can't help it," I groaned. "You looked so cute, your cheeks stained red from falling for me."

"I didn't fall," she stated matter of factly. "I tripped - over my feet." Her cheeks turned bright red again.


Patting the mattress, I smiled, one I hoped looked innocent and not that of a sex starved inmate getting his first conjugal visit in 10 years. "Sit down so you don't hurt yourself."

Once Sara was perched on the edge of my bed, she asked me how I was doing. "When your mom called me at work, she was so upset and crying, I was so afraid that I wouldn't get to talk to you again."

"Mom called you?"

Sara nodded. "Yeah, she said that she wanted you to be surrounded by all the ones you love, so that you would get better faster."

A couple months ago, Sara would've hesitated over saying something like that but as the words flowed through her lips, she sounded confident and she even smiled as she stretched out her pinky and slide it along mine. "Looks like she was right."

I chuckled, "Mom always says 'mother knows best'."

Nodding in agreement, she told me that her mom liked to say the same thing. "Must've been in the Mom handbook."

Turning my hand, I caught her fingers and held them. "Think they were given it when they left the hospital with us?"

"Maybe," she shrugged. "Either that, or they think it's the best way to convince us they know what they are doing."

"Sounds about right," I shifted against the mattress, trying to get comfortable and see her at the same time.

"Did you want to sit up?" She went to stand up but paused halfway, "Can you sit up?"

To tell the truth, I didn't really want to sit up, I wanted her to crawl onto the bed next to me. I wanted her curled up at my side with her hand roaming over my chest like she loved to do. I wasn't going to tell her that but some how it just seemed to spill.

"I don't think I should," she replied stating that she didn't want to hurt me anymore than I was hurting already.

"It'll help." I told her that her laying next to me would take my mind off the pain.

It really didn't take all that much convincing on my part to get her to shed her steel toes and curl up next to me. "That's good," I murmured against her forehead as her hand slid to rest on my hip for a moment before sliding up to the center of my chest. "I feel better already."

Sara didn't say much once she was laying next to me. She was so quite that after a while I started to worry that she fell asleep on me. "Sara?" I tried to see her face but it was pressed against my side. "Are you sleeping?"

"No," she replied, sighing as she shifted her position to look up at me with a sleepy grin on her face. "I was just relaxing; I'm so comfortable with you."

"I'm just a big old teddy bear," I remarked. She snorted and went back to pressing her face against my side. "Hey," I picked at her t-shirt as I asked her why she was working on a Friday night. "Don't you still have Friday and Saturday's off?"

"Yeah," she tilted her head back to gaze at me again. "But I wanted Sunday and Monday off this week."

"Oh?" I raised a brow, trying to ignore the pang of jealousy inside at the idea that she would switch her days for something but not for me. "Big plans?"

She chuckled, hiding her face so I couldn't hear what she said.

"I can't hear you," I poked her side. "Why did you switch your days?"

When she lifted her head, her cheeks were bright red again. "I switched so that I could come to the city to surprise you on your next days off."

I was shocked. After not hearing from her at all last week, I thought for sure she was pissed about the bar chick still. "You were coming to see me?"

She nodded. "I wanted to surprise you."

I was a mix of emotions when she repeated that. It was great that she wanted to surprise me by visiting but why the hell wouldn't she still talk to me all week? It didn't make sense. "You still could've talked me to you know."

Her eyes clouded over, her brow wrinkled in confusion. "What are you -?"

"I can't believe that nurse!" My parents came barging into my room before Sara could finish what she was saying. My mom was in the middle of ranting about the nurse when she spotted Sara curled up on the bed with me. A smile appeared on her face as all negative thoughts about the nursing staff was forgotten. "Oooohhhh," mom gushed. "Don't you two look so cute together! Quick!" She batted at my father as she asked him where her camera was.