Moronic Statement

This weekend I decided that I wasn't going to go out partying, my mom was so happy when she heard this. "Now that you have a couple days free, you should go and spend some time with your brother and his family, you haven't seen them much since you've been home."

I tried to tell her that I had some other things that I wanted to do but my mom, the queen of guilt trips started to lay it on about my nephews missing me and asking if I loved them anymore. "Fine mom, I'll call Travis and see what he's doing this weekend." Yes my parents decided to name us both with 't' names; I really don't know why parents do that, it only makes it more confusing for them when they are mad at one of their kids! I've been called by my brother's name so many time by my parents, it was so annoying!

With my mom pretty much looking over my shoulder, I called Travis Friday morning before he headed off to work. I told him what was up and just because mom was listening, I added, "Because apparently the boys don't think I love them anymore!"

Travis laughed, "They never thought you did in the first place Tan and tell mom I say 'hi'." He went on to tell me that they weren't doing much this weekend but I was welcomed to come over and do nothing with them. "They boys would really like to see you," he said. "They haven't beaten you up lately, they've had to resort to picking on me."

"You aren't making me want to come see them," I told him but then added, I would go over later that day.

"Tanner!" My mom whisper shouted at me. I told Travis to hold on and looked at mom. "You should sleep over there and spend tomorrow with them as well."

"What?" I shook my head, "No!"

Mom stood up straight, it was pretty impressive to see an older woman make 5'1 seem tall. "Tanner," she gave me that mother look that says 'do it or else'.

I sighed. "I think mom and dad have some huge orgy -slap across the back of the head from mom - ow!" I glared at her but finished my sentence. "...planned for this weekend bro, she wants me to spend the night at your house."

Travis told me to hold on and I heard muffled voices and decided that he was clearing it with Shelly, his wife. "That won't be a problem," he said when he came back on the phone. "Just let me know when you are going to come out, if it's around suppertime we'll throw something on the grill for you."

I told him I'd let him know and hung up. "So mom," I turned to her as I rubbed the back of my head. "Just how am I getting to Travis'?" The car I was driving, the one that was in the garage to be fixed was on it's last leg and apparently I broke that leg; it was gone to the big junkyard in the sky.

"You can borrow my car," she told me.

"How will you and dad get to the shop and back?"

My mom frowned, "Why in the new car of course!"

"What new car?"

"The one your father is picking up today," mom told me. "Didn't your father tell you we bought a car?"

"Ummm, no."

Mom smiled, "Well we did!"

And good for them. But is it wrong to hate your parents because they can afford things you can't? And you are forced to live with them because you can't afford shit?

No, I don't really hate my parents, I'm just kicking myself because I had everything and fucked it up.

But enough bad thoughts! Let's talk about my weekend.

I drove out to Lakeland - where my brother lives - Friday after supper. My nephews, Cody who is 10 and Kyle who is 8 were excited to see me; they jumped me the moment I walked into the backyard.

"Dad said you were coming," Kyle told me. "We didn't believe him though but you're here!"

Travis looked on as the boys and I 'wrestled' for a while before Shelly called them in to get cleaned up and ready for bed. "Good to see you Tanner," she called from the back door and then disappeared into the house with the boys.

I made my way over to the lawn furniture where my brother was lounging around drinking beer. "So mom and dad are having an orgy?" He joked as he handed me a beer.

"Trav," I cringed. "Did you have to go there?"

"Yes," he laughed, taking a mouthful of beer. "So what's been going on with you?"

As I was filling him in on work, Shelly came out to join us. She is one of the few women I know who can drink beer with the best of us. It's kind of hot or it would've been if she wasn't my sister-in-law.

"Woman what are you trying to do?" Travis stared at Shelly who was trying to edge him over.

"I want to sit with you," she told him and then looked at me. "Are you seeing anyone special?"

I started to tell her I wasn't when Travis, who was moving over to let her sit down with him, spoke. "If he was smart, he would stay single as long as possible."

Shelly stiffened. "What?" She glared at him. "Do you want to be single? It can be arranged you know!" She went to get up but my brother stopped her.

"You know that's not what I meant."

"No?" Shelly looked at me. "Didn't it sound like that to you?"

It did sound like that but I wasn't about to tell her that I thought so; I told her that it wasn't my place to say anything but, "Travis would be lost without you."

"Are you unhappy?" She asked Travis as he tried to pull her down next to him.

"No!" He said immediately which I thought was a good thing because I really didn't want to have to kick his ass for being a moron. "I didn't mean it that way at all! Tanner just doesn't have great taste when it comes to women; he isn't lucky like I was when I found you."

Now I wanted to kick his ass but it was true, my single status proves that. By the time Travis was my age, he was married for 5 years, had a 4-year old and a 2 year old.

What he said must have worked because Shelly smiled and cuddled up next to him.

"I hate you," I told him but he just laughed.

I went to bed that night and wondered about my future in the 'love' department, it didn't look that great.