The End - Part Three

For months, people have been whispering in my ear about every event in Sara’s life. It’s funny how everyone seemed to think I was entitled to know what she was doing when I was the one who pushed her away. Whenever I asked them, most of them told me that it was what she needed.

“Sara was pissed when she came home from the city,” Billy told me. “Partly with you but mainly with herself. She knew that her lack of confidence was her biggest problem but she thought she was doing fine. Obviously she wasn’t.”

So, I guess Billy thought I did Sara a favour. My mom, on the other hand, was upset with me for a good month. She thought I should’ve encouraged Sara to seek help while being there as her friend. “I don’t know where I went wrong,” she grumbled. “I thought I raised my boys right but one is getting divorced and the other is using women like play toys!”

Yeah, mom was taking Travis’ and my women issues to heart. “You boys can’t bring these wonderful women home, make them a part of our family and then toss them aside!”

There was no arguing with mom when she got like that so I stayed away from her as much as I could. By the end of the summer, she was in agreement with Billy – Sara needed a push to get the help she needed to finally put The Bastard and her prick of a father behind her.

Travis was about the only one who was happy that I pushed Sara away. He went on and on about all the parties and clubs we could go to.

Whatever their position, no one hesitated to tell me everyone moment of Sara’s life. They kept me up to date on her therapy process and how she was changing for the better. I was shocked when Billy told me that she applied for a management position during the daytime and got it!

“She always talked about going back to days,” he told me. “But she couldn’t handle the idea of being around customers. I thought she was joking when, out of the blue, she told me that she applied for Backroom Manager.”

Even more shocked when I found out from Shelly that she spent a couple nights a week with Sara in kickboxing classes! “She just called me,” Shelly explained when I asked her how that came about. “She said she wasn’t sure she should be calling but wanted to know if I would like to join her in kickboxing classes.”

Apparently, in her therapy it came up that she wasn’t happy with the way she looked, she thought she was fat and decided to do something about it but she didn’t have anyone to workout with. She called Shelly because she was the only female she really knew, besides Anna, who had her own things going on.

From all reports it seemed like Sara was getting her life on track and she sounded like she was happy. She was even dating. And that killed me. I had nightmares of Sara with other men. Taunting me. Teasing me. Telling me of all the things Sara would do to them in the bed. The scariest one was when Sara’s ‘guy’ was my brother.

Upon hearing that she was dating, I tried to find out from them, if she was still mad at me. Of course, no one would tell me flat out, they all told me that I would have to talk to her.

Would you believe the idea of talking to her scared me?

****

“Fuck, it’s cold!” My brother pushed pass me without stopping to remove his snow covered shoes. “Who the hell ordered up this ass bitingly cold weather?”

“Hey!” I went after him. “Respect my floor, take your boots off!”

Standing in front of my fireplace, he held out his hands and rubbed them together. “You sound just like mom.” Glancing over his shoulder, he told me if the next thing out of my mouth was, I just cleaned them, he was leaving my sorry ass home.

“Just take your shoes off,” I threw over my shoulder as I headed back to the bathroom to finish getting ready to go out.

It was News Years Eve and I was going to the bar with Travis with hopes of running into Sara. I knew she would be there, Billy told me that they were going with a group of people from work, but he wouldn’t tell me if she was going to be on a date. “You’ll just have to show up to find out,” he told me.

“Tanman,” Travis appeared in the bathroom doorway. “I have to ask, can I crash here tonight?”

“What’s wrong with your place?”

He shrugged. “Nothing, you just live closer to the bar.”

At the end of summer, I went out of a limb and made an appointment with the bank to see if I could get a mortgage. I didn’t think I had a hope in hell of getting one but someone must’ve been on my side, the agent called me two days after my appointment and told me that everything was a go. I ended up buying myself a newer manufactured home located in a park just a few blocks away from the main bar in town.

The beginning of September, I moved into my new place. While I was moving in, Travis, in a move that shocked the hell out of everyone in the family, decided that he would be the one to move out of the house he owned with Shelly. “I don’t want my boys living in an apartment building,” he told me one night over beers. “I’ve already fucked them up enough.”

****

Travis and I weren’t at the club ten minutes before he disappeared and left me standing by the bar feeling like the biggest loser. It was ten o’clock and my first scan of the bar didn’t look too promising, I didn’t see anyone I recognized. I was starting to think that Billy lied to me and Sara was somewhere else celebrating the coming New Year with some other guy.

I had to tell myself that he wouldn’t do that to me, not when he expressed how great he thought it would be if we got back together, ‘for real this time’.

My second trip around the bar, I spotted Shelly with a group of her girlfriends so I stopped to see how she was doing. “Tanner!” She giggled as she hugged me. “What are you doing here?”

“Celebrating the new year,” I told her.

“By yourself?” She glanced around and then sized me up. “Dressed like that,” she tugged on my shirt. “You have to be here to impress someone – who is she?” Raising a brow, she asked, “Sara? I heard she was going to be here tonight.”

Chuckling, I gave her a shrug. “You know me Shelly; I’m just here for a good time.”

“Uh-huh,” she gave me another hug. “Keep telling yourself you aren’t missing her.”

****

It was almost eleven o’clock before I caught a glimpse of Sara and I’m ashamed to admit, I almost didn’t recognize her. Travis, who had returned not long after I left Shelly and her friends, elbowed me as he exclaimed, “Fuck me, Sara is smokin’ tonight.”

“What?” I turned in the direction he was pointing and had to do a double take because I couldn’t believe the beautiful happy woman standing just ten feet away from me was the same one I pushed away in May.

“What are you waiting for man?” Travis gave me a shove in Sara’s general direction. I told him not to shove me; I wasn’t ready to go talk to her at that moment. “Then I’m gonna go talk to her.” He was gone before I could stop him, throwing, ‘you talked to my woman’ over his shoulder as he went.

Instead of standing around, looking like a loser, I started another walk around the bar, never taking my eyes of Sara. Travis wasn’t kidding; she looked so hot that night. I knew before I saw her that she was going to be dressed up, Billy had told me that much but nothing could’ve prepared me for the strapless, nearly skin tight number she was wearing. I don’t even need to tell you were exactly my eyes travelled, anyone who knows me, knows my gaze rested on her chest.

As I watched her greet my brother with a hug, I wished the bastard was dead and I was the one with her tits pressed up against my chest.

I needed a drink.

****

For an hour I watched her laugh and dance with her friends. An hour of watching random guys walking up to her group, get close and whisper in her ear. There was this one guy who just couldn’t seem to let her get any space between them. He was the one I imagined killing.

Ten minutes to midnight, I had enough…beer…and of sitting around watching the woman I wanted laugh at other men’s lame (I’m assuming) jokes.

Five minutes to midnight, I decided I was going to talk to her.

One minute to midnight, I finally pushed off my bar stool and started across the room.

Twenty seconds to midnight, I stood behind her, trying to figure out how to get her attention as the Clingy guy made a move for her.

10….I grabbed her by the arm.

9….I spun her around to face me.

“Tanner?” She stared, wide eyed, up at me. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing but it was too late to worry about that now.

3…My hand slipped around her waist and I drew her to me.

2…1...

As everyone shouted Happy New Year, I lowered my head and brushed my lips against hers, kind of like a test, to make sure she wasn’t about to kill me or something.

“Tanner…” she moaned as her arms wound themselves around my neck and her body melted against mine.

It seemed to go on forever, yet it seemed like a split second. It ended all too soon and believe it or not, I was the one who pulled away. I didn’t want too but I felt overwhelmed. It’s hard to describe, I wanted to kiss her but the second I touched her, I wanted more and there was no way to get that in a club. At least, not in a way that wouldn’t be disrespectful to the woman she was.

“Happy New Year Baby,” I whispered before releasing her and disappearing into the crowd.

I was walking out the door when Travis caught up to me. “What the fuck man! You had her, where the hell are you going?”

“Home,” I continued on my way. “I need to get out of here.”

I thought he was going to call me a pussy and tell me to get my ass back in the bar but he surprised me. “I know what you mean.” I frowned. “What?” He glared at me. “You think I love seeing my wife having a great time without me?”

I shook my head. I guess, he did understand some times.

“You know what I want to do?”

“No Travis, I don’t.”
“I want to see my boys.” He held out his hand to stop me. “Let’s grab a cab and go to mom and dad’s place.”

I had such high expectations for the night but to tell the truth, the way it ended, wasn’t all that bad.

Problem was, I hadn’t heard from Sara like I hoped I would.