Sound Advice

I had arrived at Sara's house thirty minutes after I hung up the phone. When I knocked on the door Sara's mom answered it and she seemed happy to see me.

"Sara didn't tell me you were coming over," she said as she closed the door behind me. "But I'm glad that you did, Sara is a little upset with me; she doesn't want to move but I asked her to come with me." She looked a little sad as she told me that Sara was all she had left. "I'd miss her terribly if she didn't go with me."

I was about to ask her what about what Sara wanted when she said she should get back to packing. "Sara!" She called up the stairs. "Tanner is here!"

At first there was no sound from upstairs, then, suddenly I heard the tell tale signs of Sara running. "Tanner!" She exclaimed, completely missed the last couple steps in her hurry to get down the stairs. "You're here!" She launched herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck as her body collided with mine.

"I told you I was coming," I grunted while stumbling back a step or two.

"I know but I didn't think you would," she grinned. "You did!"

"Yes," I chuckled. "I guess I did."

"I'm glad you did," she motioned towards the stairs. "Do you want to come up?"

Let me tell you, she didn't have to ask me twice. It didn't matter if her question was completely innocent or not, nothing would've stopped me from being alone in her room with her.

"Come," she led me into her room. "Sorry it's a little messy but I..." she shrugged and turned to close the door.

I made my way across her room, straight to her bed. There was no where else to sit, I swear! Her desk chair, the only other place to sit, was holding a box of boxes. That was the only 'mess' I could see, well, besides the clothes on the floor by her hamper and her work bag dropped on the floor at the foot of her bed. It wasn't that bad but I could've had to walk over a pile of junk for all I cared. As I sat down on the bed, my mind was on the boxes on her chair and the reason for them.

"Are you really moving with your mom?" I couldn't help but feel a little cheated that she would be moving three hours away from me when things seemed to be heading in the right direction for us.

"I don't know," she said with a tiny shrug as she sat down on the bed to face me. "I don't want to talk about it," she picked at her comforter. "I don't know what to do."

"Talking about it can help you figure it out Sara."

She nodded, "It could but..." she sighed. "Let's talk about something else."

"I would really like to talk about you moving Sara, especially since you said your mom was leaving at the end of the month."

"No," she shook her head. "I haven't figured it out, I don't want to talk about it yet Tanner."

"I can help you figure -"

"No Tanner," she cut me off as she jumped off the bed. "I don't want to think about it..."

I stood up too. "Sara it's not going to disappear just because you don't want to think about it. You need to figure out what you are doing now, you don't have that much time." I waited for a couple minutes but she just stood there twisting her fingers, playing with them, completely avoiding the situation. "Sara just tell me what you are thinking right now." I wanted to help her so badly but mainly, I just wanted her to let me in. "Why won't you talk about it?"

"I want to talk about something else Tanner," she said firmly as she looked up at me. "I don't want to talk about me anymore; I talk about me all the time." She chuckled and told me she was tired of talking about herself. "I wanna talk about you," she informed me with a smile. "I want to know what's going on with you."

For a second I debated arguing with her more but in the end I gave in. "Ok," I told her. "We'll talk about me..."

"Good," she went back to the bed and sat down. "You call -"

"Sara," I returned to my spot on the bed. "I'll talk about me but after we done, you have to let return the favor, you have tell me what's going on."

She hesitated but in the end she agreed and asked me why I called her.

For the next hour we sat facing each other on her bed while I told her my story. I told her about the classes I took in business and cuisine and how I dreamt of having my own restaurant. I told her how I managed to realize that dream while I lived in the city and how it all came crashing down around me. I told her the truth about my financial picture and how I came to decide to move back home and work nights with her. I shared my thoughts on the job, I like what I do and the people I work with - namely Billy and her - but it wasn't enough when I was feeling oppressed from living at home and the amount of my bills. She heard all about the job Chester offered me and the job that my parents inquired about for me. And the whole time, she listened intently. Never once did I think she was bored.

When I was done, she nodded thoughtfully. "What do you think?"

"I can't tell you what to do Tanner."

"I know, I just wanted to know what you think."

"Well," she hesitated, giving me a look that told me I should know what she was thinking.

I laughed, "What are you thinking besides you not wanting me to quit my job because you can't get enough of me?"

Sara smiled, one of those big infectious smiles. "While I don't want you to leave, I do understand why you feel you need too."

"Good." I looked at her expectantly. "What do you think? What would you do if you were me?"

Taking a deep breath, she started to speak. "I would look at all the pros and cons, see what works for me and then go for it."

"That really doesn't help Sara."

"I know," she said apologetically. "I just think that you have to decide if the quick buck or a job in your field of interest is what you want." She uncrossed her legs, briefly kneeling in front of me as she came around to sit beside me. "Do you want to work crazy hours and make enough money to take a huge chunk out of your debt and get your life back on track - all while hating every minute of it. Or, do you want to keep chipping away like you have been doing but do it from a position - a stepping stone, lets say - on your 'path' to your dreams."

"You make it seem like it should be an easy choice."

"No," she shook her head. "It's not an easy choice Tanner, if it was, you would already have made it."

I nodded, that made a lot of sense. "How would you decide Sara?"

"I would go see Chester this afternoon like planned, ask some of the questions you have about the job and let him know that you have another opportunity in the mix so you'll need another day to make your choice. Then I would go meet with Beverly tomorrow and see if that's something you want to do."

"So, pretty much, keep my options open until I talk to both of them."

"Yeah, that's what I would do." She shrugged. "But that doesn't mean you have to do it, it's your life Tanner, in the end you have to decide what's best for you."

"True, it is my decision but it's nice to hear what you have to say about it." I smiled at her, "So tell me..."

"Tell you what?" She gazed up at me as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

"Tell me how you are going to solve your problem."

"Make my mom change her mind?" She asked hopefully.

"I can't do that Sara."

"Yeah, no one can, she's been talking about moving ever since she came back from visiting my Aunt over Christmas. She wants this, she told me she needed a change."

"I guess it would be difficult to - wait a minute," I stared down at her. "Your mom visited your Aunt over Christmas?"

"Yes, mom went with my aunt when she left to go home just before Christmas. Why?" Her brow crinkled in confusion. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"You spent Christmas alone! I can't believe your mom left you to celebrate alone!"

"It was ok Tanner, she needed to get away."

"What about you? Christmas is a time for family and she deserted you!"

"Tanner stop it," Sara snapped at me. "Mom has had a difficult year with dad dying, she needed a break from this place."

"And your year was easy?"

"I'm ok Tanner," she pulled away a little.

"Are you really Sara? I have to tell you, from where I'm sitting, you aren't ok."

"That's not a nice thing to say Tanner." I could see the walls start to come up. "I've come along way, I'm no longer praying to die. I want to live and I'm trying everything I can to be what everyone expects me to be but damn it Tanner, I'm not perfect!"

"Funny thing about that Sara," I said as I took her hands in mine, gripping her fingers so she couldn't pull them away. "I don't want you to be perfect, I just want you to be happy."