Life Changes

It's not going that well, I hate not being able to move forward with Sara like I want too. Yet, I do understand that she does need to work through all the hang ups she has with men. She told me that she is starting to see a shrink so she can find a way to deal and move on with her life. "I know this isn't what you want to hear," she said just after she told me. "No one wants to know that someone they are interested in is crazy."

"Don't talk like that," I told her. "You aren't crazy - we work with Crazy - you aren't anything like her." I tried to get her to laugh, it worked.

"Yeah we do," she smiled. "Ok, maybe not crazy but I do have a lot of issues to work through and..."

"And what Sara?"

She sighed, "I'll understand if you don't want to wait for me to figure it all out."

I couldn't help but chuckle, "Sara I've been waiting for you to figure it out for months."

"Sorry," she muttered as she looked away from me.

"Don't be," I turned her face back to me. "I'll wait as long as necessary."

Sara told me that she didn't want me to wait for something that may not happen. "I can't promise you anything Tanner. I don't want you to wait and then be disappointed if it takes longer than you thought or it doesn't work out. I don't want to disappoint you."

I told her there was no point in worrying about that because I was a big boy, I could take care of myself. "You can't change how I feel or what I expect Sara. If I'm disappointed, it's won't be because you did something wrong. All you need to worry about is you, you are all that matters."

It has been a week, Sara has gone to see the shrink a couple times already and she seems happier already. She is still worried about disappointing me and worries that I'll hate her because she made the decision to work through her issues before going any further with me. That is so far from the truth though, I'm happy that she's taking care of herself. I tell her this every moment I can. I'm strong, I can wait.

I think.

Now for something completely different.

Yesterday Luke called me to let me know that the company he is working for is actively hunting for guys. "I suggested that Chester give you a call, you were still looking for another job, weren't you?"

Of course I was. No matter how much I liked working with Sara and Billy, I needed something else. It's not that the pay was bad - it was actually pretty good, better than I thought it would be - but still, I wanted something else. I had this desire to have my life back and not to have to work in my parents shop, or live in their house anymore. I needed freedom and space.

Chester called me late afternoon yesterday, he told me Luke suggested that I would be interested in coming to work for him. He gave me a run down on what he was looking for and if I figured I met those requirements, to go down to the office about the same time today and he'll put me on the payroll.

Now, the job that I've been offered, isn't all that glamorous but it will pay me more than I'm making now and I'll have all the hours I want. At least until the summer comes, then it slows down. Most of the guys make enough to carry them through the whole summer and most of the fall without having to get another job but I don't know if that'll work for me, I still have so much debt to pay off. I really want something more stable, even if it doesn't pay that much all at once.

Then this morning, when I got home from work, my parents were still at home. "Hey guys," I said cautiously as I closed the door behind me. "What's going on? Is something wrong?" I don't need to tell you guys how odd it was to come home to find my mom but to come home and find my dad as well? I was worried that they were about to tell me something horrible. "Is Travis ok?" It was the only thing I could think of.

"Your brother is fine," mom reassured me before asking me to sit down. "We just wanted to talk to you Tanner."

"Oh?" I removed my jacket and boots before joining them at the table where I waited, expectantly.

"We wanted to talk to you," my mom started. "Honey we are worried about you, we know that you had big plans when you came back here to get back on your feet. We know that you took the night job because we asked you to help out in the store instead of paying rent but you have to admit, you haven't been keeping up your end of the bargain."

"I know," I sighed. "I'm sorry," I looked from mom to dad and back again. "Are you asking me to start paying rent?"

"No," mom reached out her and patted mine. "No Tanner, we weren't even thinking about that. We love having you home honey, I can't tell you how happy I was when you first asked if you could move back in - I hated thinking of you living in the city and I missed you very much."

I was confused to say the least. "If you aren't asking for rent, are you..." my eyes widened at the thought I just had. "Are you asking me to move out mom?"

"Oh good heavens, no Tanner!" Mom glanced at dad, who was reading the newspaper. "Tell him," she told him.

My dad glanced at mom, then me. Sighing, he leaned forward in his chair and moved the paper around so that I could see what he was looking at - the Help Wanted section. "We heard that you were talking to Chester March yesterday."

"Yes," my mom jumped in. "I don't want you working for that man Tanner, I don't trust him."

"Woman please!" My dad shot my mom a look. "Did you want me to talk to him, or did you want to do it yourself?"

Mom rolled her eyes at dad. "Listen Tanner, I don't like Chester and I don't want you working for him." I started to protest, to tell her that I needed the kind of money he was offering. "I know, I know," mom held up her hands to me. "I know you want to get on your feet honey but I think you'll end up regretting it." Then she asked me if I really wanted to take that job. "You've always talked about your own restaurant dear."

"Yeah," I scoffed. "And I had that too, didn't I? Totally screwed that up and now, look at me!"

"Yes, you made a mistake Tanner but you didn't take all those courses in management and cuisine just to go work on the rigs! I won't see you throw it all away because you are afraid of failing again!"

"Well mom," I leaned forward, a little pissed. "It's not like a have a choice, I can't afford to start my own restaurant at this moment. Or are you forgetting the debt from the last one?"

"Of course we haven't forgetting Tanner," my dad jumped in. "Take a look at the paper, here." He pointed to the Help wanted section, halfway down the second page.

"We know that you don't have the money to start up your own restaurant," my mom continued as I read the ad. "But we were thinking that it would be better for you to be in the business, not wasting time with all these different jobs."

"Mom," I shook my head as I pushed the paper away. "This is an assistant manager position at a fast food joint."

"Yes," she nodded. "I know, and we happen to know the manager, we asked her about the position, told her all about your experience in the business and she is looking forward to meeting you."

"You did what?" I stared at her.

"We spoke to Beverly, she wants to meet with you tomorrow morning," my mom was smiling. "She is looking forward to meeting you Tanner."

"How could you guys do this?"

"Well," mom's smile disappeared. "We thought that this was a good thing Tanner, we are just trying to help honey."

"Help?" I shook my head. "You think this woman, this..." I looked at the ad. "Beverly, thinks it's cool that my parents were in begging her to give their son a job?"

"We didn't beg and we weren't even in there for you!" Mom snapped. "We were in having breakfast and overheard her talking to her business partner about the lack of qualified applications she received since she placed the ad."

"So you decided to jump in the middle of their private conversation and ask her to give me a chance?"

"Yes," mom nodded. "We think this will be a good opportunity for you Tanner. You'll be doing what you love and still be making enough money to cover your expenses and then some."

Mom had a point, I really didn't want to go to work for Chester, I wasn't really that interested in working on the rigs but to take a job in a fast food joint? Did that really work for me?

Of course my parents were all for it.

I needed to talk to someone else. I needed to talk to Sara.

Well, ok, I actually wanted to hear her voice, so I called her.

"Hey Tanner, what's up?" She asked when she found out it was me.

"I need to talk to you," I told her. "Can I come over?"

"I really..." she sighed. "I don't really feel like talking to anyone right now."

"What?" I frowned. "What's wrong Sara? You sound pretty down, did your appointment go well this morning?"

"I didn't have an appointment this morning Tanner, it's tomorrow." She sighed again. "I guess I should tell you, you'll find out soon anyway."

"I'm listening."

"Well my mom told me this morning that she's putting the house up for sale."

"That's good, right? You told me she was feeling overwhelmed in the house now that your dad was gone." She didn't say anything. "So, is she looking for a smaller place?"

"She found one," she said shortly.

"Oh? Where is it? Is it nice?"

Sara sighed deeply.

"What's wrong Sara? Tell me, please?"

"Mom found a place that she loves very much, so much so that she bought it right away; she's moving in at the end of the month."

"Wow, that's great." I couldn't believe that getting information from her was so difficult, although, it shouldn't be surprising, she was never one to volunteer too much information.

"Not really, she wants me to move with her."

"Well, living with your mom hasn't been all that bad, right? You said you two were closer than ever before."

"Yeah but Tanner," she sounded like she was about to cry. "My mom bought a condo in the city, she's moving there and she wants me to go with her."

"I'm coming over," I dropped the phone back into its cradle before she had a chance to tell me no.