Monday's Ending

In the early morning light last Monday, I found myself watching Sara as she slept. Her comment the night before about wanting to kiss me since the first night she saw me kind of threw me for a loop; I didn't think she even liked me that night. I know that I wasn't here biggest fan; I can't even remember when I stopped disliking her. Maybe it was when she finally saw I wasn't a complete idiot. Or maybe I just had to give her a little time, like Billy had told me that first night.

Even though I would find it creepy to wake up and see someone staring down at me like I was with Sara, it didn't stop me at all. She was lying on her back with her head tilted away from me, her long dark hair spread out over the pillow beneath her head.

While one arm was resting across her stomach, the other one was thrown out at her side like she made a move to slap at something in her sleep. I hope it wasn't me she was trying to slap!

It was warmer Monday morning, she didn't need the sleeping bag like she did the day before which was evident in the way she had pushed it down her body leaving only the area between her waist and thighs covered. Her thighs!

I was trying not to let my gaze travel down there but I couldn't help it. Her legs were parted - her one leg was straight but the other one was angled away from her; she looked like she just passed out but I knew she hadn't had anything to drink the night before.

She started to move as I was checking out her legs, cutting my sight seeing tour short as my eyes jumped to her face once again. Her eyes fluttered, I thought she was going to open them but she didn't. "Tanner," she sighed and turned towards me, the arm that was thrown out from her side earlier, now rested at my waist - or her hand did at least.

A whiny sounding groan came from her throat as she tugged gently at my waist - I took that to mean she wanted to closer. And when I slid up to her, she sighed once again and gave me a tight squeeze.

While I was dying - totally fucking horny - Sara slipped back into her dreams. It would be another frustratingly amazing two hours before she woke up. I had my eyes closed, trying to sleep while I held her tight while still 'dying'. I felt her moved back to look up at me moments before I heard her say my name softly.

With my eyes still closed, I smiled, hugging her tight.

"Tanner!" She gasped but didn't try to pull away from me as she said something that took me a moment to understand. "Model dreams again?"

I laughed. "Model dreams?" I opened my eyes, unintentionally giving her a very heated look.

"I never believed it," she stated, lowering her head but not before I saw her cheeks redden.

She left my tent not long after that. I'm not sure what happened in that moment, I asked her a few times if I did something wrong but she kept telling me that I didn't do anything wrong, she just needed to get some fresh air.

Monday was our last day at the lake since all of us had to work that night (Billy, Sara and me) or the next day (Travis and Shelly) so most of the morning was full of us getting in that last swim, or walk or whatever. In other words, I didn't get to spend that much time alone with Sara.

When we got back to town, she seemed to be in a hurry to get home and check on her mom. "I'll see you tonight," she through over her shoulder as she headed to her car.

"Sara wait," I called out as I made my way over to her. "Is everything ok?" I asked her when I was in front of her.

"Yes Tanner," she smiled up at me. "Everything is fine."

"Then why are you running away?"

"I'm not running..." she sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. And yes! I looked! How could I not? She knew what that did to me and after having them pressed against me many times that weekend, I needed to look. They were just as great as I remembered. "Tanner!" She made a move to hit me but when her hand touched my chest it was more likely to stroke than to hit. "I had so much fun this weekend," she gazed up at me.

"So did I," my hands were on her waist, pulling her near. "Do you really have to go?" My lips brushed against her cheek, I wanted to kiss her so badly but I didn't want to push her.

"I should go check on my mom," she jerked her head in the direction of my mouth but turned away before I could react. "Plus I have laundry to do before work tonight."

I groaned. "Never been turned down for laundry before."

"Tanner," she sighed sadly. "We can't do this."

"Why not?" I softly kissed her cheek. "You want too and I really want too; why can't we do this?"

She pulled back from me until she got me to look into her eyes. "I really like you Tanner and I don't want to hurt you."

"Don't worry about me."

"But I do," she stared into my eyes as if she was trying to get me to understand without her saying it. But I needed her to say it. "I just got out of a three year relationship -" I grunted. "I did Tanner! It may not have been the best relationship but still! I need time to deal with it. I want to be sure that I'm ok before I get involved with someone else." She pulled away from me completely. "I don't want you to be the 'rebound' guy Tanner."

"What about if I want to be that guy?"

Sara shook her head. "I don't want you to be that guy Tanner, rebound relationships barely ever last. I want us to..." she stopped. "I have to go."

I tried to get her to finish that sentence but she wouldn't. It had to be that she wanted us to last, right?

Work sucked last week mainly because it was really warm and there was a lot to catch up on from the three days I had off.

Sara hadn't been avoiding me but she seems to make sure that Billy is always around when she sees me at work.

Meanwhile Billy and I have hung out quite a bit since last weekend, he has been giving me some insight on the wonder that is Sara. To be honest, I think he has a crush on her. I asked him about that one night and he laughed. "If Sara was a guy, I'd be all over her."

I don't know what to do about Sara. How do I handle this situation? I don't want to push her and end up driving her away but at the same time, I don't want to sit idly by waiting for her to be ready, only to have her be ready for another guy.

Sunday's Bright Spot

Last Sunday. Damn! I can't believe it's been a week already! Where the hell does the time go?

It was pretty warm out when I went to bed around 2 am on Saturday so like the night before, I stripped down to my boxers before I crawled under my sleeping bag. I woke up around 6 Sunday morning, just shivering, some time in the three hours that I had been asleep, it had gotten cold. Without opening my eyes, I reached behind me and grabbed hold of my sleeping bag to pull over me but it wouldn't move, so I tugged again but still it didn't move but some thing did. I guess I should say some one, Sara.

I stared at her for a while as I tried to figure out what she was doing in my tent and why on earth she was wrapped up so tight in my sleeping bag as if she were a caterpillar. It took a moment before the fog in my head cleared enough to remember that when I went to my tent the night before, Sara was off in one corner with Billy, they were laughing hysterically about something so I didn't even bother to go over and tell them I was going to sleep. It wasn't even ten minutes later, she came ripping into my tent, totally pissed off.

"Why didn't you say good night?" She stared at me like I just told her I killed her puppy. "Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Was it because I was rude to Luke?" She grabbed my hand. "You have to know I was only rude to him because he was being a prick to Billy! He's always a prick to Billy! I don't like it when some one picks on my friends and I..." I held up my hand to her and she stopped.

"I'm not mad at you," I told her. "You seemed like you were having fun so I just slipped in here."

"Oh," she looked a little embarrassed now. "I guess I should let you sleep," she turned to go and since my hand was still in hers, I gripped her hand and she stopped, giving me a questioning look.

"I would like it if you stayed," I told her. She started to protest, saying that I was tired and she should let me sleep. "No, I just needed to lie down. Please stay."

We were both pretty tired, we didn't talk that much. I was drifting off so we decided to get go to sleep. The last thing I remember is watching her slip out of her shorts and remove her bra without removing her shirt.

That's how she came to be in my tent, wrapped up in my sleeping bag while I froze my balls off!

"Sara?" I moved up behind her, I figured that I could work some of the sleeping bag free if I just got her to move a little. "Sara?" I whispered again. "Could you just roll over onto your other side for a moment?"

Her response was a grunt as she held on tighter to the sleeping bag.

"Sara please? I'm freezing here."

She groaned and moved away from me. Not what I wanted.

"Sara -"

"I'm sleeping," she mumbled softly.

I couldn't help but laugh. "I know, I just want some of the sleeping bag to cover up in, I'm freezing."

"No," she sighed.

"No?" I chuckled. "You don't believe I'm freezing?"

"Go away, sleeping," she mumbled as she tugged at the sleeping bag around her. "Not cold."

Fuck Sara is funny when she's half asleep.

"No," I laughed. "I'm cold! Me! Tanner! I'm cold!"

"Tanner?" She mumbled something else along with my name but I couldn't make it out.

"Yes, Tanner is cold." I have no idea why I referred to myself in the third person but I did. Maybe it was the beer talking, I was feeling hungover. But it didn't matter, Sara didn't budge. "Sara?" I reached out and touched her shoulder and she responded with a soft snore. "Fuck!" I was shivering now, I guess I could've put on clothes but I wasn't thinking straight that morning, I wanted under the sleeping bag but since I couldn't do that, I slipped my arm around my little sleeping bag thief and pulled her back against me. That move helped me a little in warming the front of my body but I was still shivering.

"Sara?" I tried again. This time she tore out of my arms and ripped at the sleeping bag until she had an opening then she threw her arm awkwardly over me. But I still wasn't covered up. "Sara as much as I like this..."

"You are cold," she whined and started to retreat back into her cocoon. I don't know how I managed to do it but within five minutes I was wrapped up under my sleeping bag with a sleeping Sara in my arms; it didn't take any time to warm up, in fact I was burning hot for her in no time at all.

I fell asleep some how.

When I woke up, I was alone in my tent, it was still pretty dark out and I thought I dreamt the whole thing.

Sunday was a pretty crappy day for camping, it didn't rain but it was cold and gloomy so we ended up spending most of the day in Travis' camper playing cards and bullshitting.

After supper that night, we were playing the millionth game of crib when Sara, who was watching the four of us because she didn't really know how to play, moved from the table to the back where she sat on the bench seat and stared out the window. She was very quiet all day but whenever I asked her what was wrong, she just told me that she was cold and the weather was bringing her down; I managed to fix one of her problems, I had a sweatshirt in my tent for the cooler days.

When she went to the back, we had just finished a game so I told them I was going to take a break and although they all gave me looks, no one questioned it at all. I got up from the table and went to the stove where I put the kettle on to boil some water to make hot chocolate that I knew Shelly liked to have on hand 'just in case'. As the water boiled, I searched the cupboards for mugs, the packages of hot chocolate mix and tiny marshmallows.

"That's a good idea," Shelly said when she saw what I was doing. "Make me one too?" I ended up making five mugs of hot chocolate.

Taking tow of the mugs and the bag of marshmallows, I headed back to where Sara was sitting. "Hey," I sat down on the bench seat and held out the steaming mug to her. "Hot chocolate?" She smiled as she took the mug from me. "Marshmallows?" I offered her the bag, she laughed as she slipped her hand into the bag, taking a couple out.

"Thank you."

I asked her if there was something wrong and she told me no, she was just thinking. "What are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking about everything," she told me. "I always think about everything when it's gloomy like this."

"That can't be much fun."

"No," she glanced at me. "Most times it's not; this time it's worst though."

"Why's that?"

"So much has happened," she told me. "Not much of it is good." She sighed, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a downer today, we were having a good time."

I glanced over to the table where my brother just shouted out his displeasure at the hand he was dealt. "Don't be sorry," I told her.

She was quiet for a while, she was back to staring out the window. "Want to go for a walk?" She asked suddenly. I told her I would like that and we made our way out of the camper and into the night. "I think it's going to rain," she told me. "I hope it's going to rain, I love it when it rains."

We walked down to the beach, we stood there for a moment before she asked if I would sit with her. I told her I would. "Why do you love the rain?" I asked her once she was seated next to me on the sand.

"It sounds silly," she told me. "But I feel like anything is possible when it rains, like all the bad stuff that happened washes away and I get a new beginning to start from."

"That doesn't sound silly," I told her. "Many people think that about the rain."

"Do you?" She turned to gaze up at me. "Do you believe that great things cam happen after it rains?"

"Well," I smiled. "It rained like hell the day I moved back here and for the most part, the move has been great for me."

"Yeah? You like living with your parents?" She lowered her head and stared at her hands. "Your parents seem really nice, your mom was so nice to me."

"My parents are good people, they care about everyone who is important to them and their family."

Sara's head snapped up, "I'm important?" Just as the last word pf that question left her mouth, her hand jumped to my mouth, covering it. "Don't answer that Tanner, I shouldn't have asked; it's not right."

I didn't answer her question, I just removed her hand from my mouth and lowered it to my lap, where I entwined my fingers with hers. And she smiled! Really smiled!

The first drops of rain soon came spoiling the mood. "Come on," she jumped up, tugging on my hand as she did. "Let's go to your tent."

She didn't have to say it twice, I was up and running with her to my tent. Once inside we removed most of our clothing until we were wearing the same stuff as we were the night before.

In the darkness of the tent, under the sound of the falling rain, Sara held herself up on her elbow beside me. "Tanner?" She pressed against my side, her hand on my chest. "I've wanted to do something since the first night I met you."

"What did you want to do?" I asked her but I already had an idea.

She didn't reply. She didn't move.

"Sara? Is every-"

Her hand trailed slowly, nervously up over my chest, brushing against my neck before coming to rest gently against my cheek. She shifted against me, moving up and then pressing against me as she lowered her head. Sara kissed me softly, her lips moving slowly against mine. I tried hard not to take control, to let her kiss me at her own pace but fuck it was difficult! I wanted to roll her onto her back and kiss her like I've been dreaming about for a while.

I groaned my frustration when she pulled away long before I had enough.

"I'm sorry," she gasped. "I shouldn't have done that." She tried to move away from me but I held her tight. "Tanner please? I'm sorry."

"I'm not," I told her as I moved in to kiss her. "In fact, you can kiss me anytime you wish, I don't mind at all."

Sara spent the night with me again Sunday. Even though we didn't venture pass Sara's shy kisses, it was probably one of the best nights I've had in a long, long time.

Saturday's Outing

I was rudely awaken the next morning by my brother as he stood outside my tent threatening to take my whole tent down with me still inside if I didn't join them all for breakfast in five minutes. "Tanman," he poked his head inside my tent as I rolled my eyes at his use of that old nickname for me. "While you are sleeping away Sara and Billy are making plans to go off walking for most of the morning, do you really want to be left here while she's off with that guy?"

Travis didn't stick around to hear my 'fuck no' response.

But an hour later, I wish I did remain in my tent. We had walked for what seemed like forever, Sara and Billy were ahead of me talking low most of the time so I couldn't hear them. Anytime I tried to walk along side of them, the path would narrow and since they were walking arm in arm most of the time, I was forced back again.

We had finally made it to the cliff they wanted to visit, the one that overlooked the entire lake. Sara wanted to take some pictures of the view so we stopped there for a while. I watched the two of them as they took turns snapping pictures of each other and laughing at the results. They were having so much fun together, I wondered why Sara even insisted that I go with them.

"Tanner come here!" Sara called out to me.

"What's up?" I asked when I reached where she was sitting at the makeshift table that had seen better days.

"Go over and stand with Billy," she said but she didn't look up at me, she was playing with her camera.

"Stand over there," Billy pointed to the other side of the sign he was standing by. "Sara wants to test out the timer on her camera," he told me. "Plus she wants some pictures of the three of us here."

Before I could say anything, Sara came running over to us. "Ok look at the camera and smile!" She said quickly as she moved in between the two of us and slipped her arms around both of our waists. The camera did its thing and soon Sara was running over to check it out. "Tanner!" She looked up at me accusingly. "You didn't smile!"

I honestly thought I smiled.

"I'm setting it up again," she told us as she played with the camera again before she came running at us again. "Smile this time!" She said to me once she was in position again.

I could see her out of the corner of my eye, she was glancing at me. I guess she didn't think I was smiling enough because right as the camera was beeping rapidly, she turned to me and grabbed my sides. If I didn't mention it before, I'm actually very ticklish. So I was laughing as the camera did its thing but Sara wasn't looking at the camera.

"We have to do it again," she pouted when she realized that she messed it up this time. So once again, she set the shot up and came running for us.

"Don't grab my sides this time," I warned her.

"Don't worry I won't," she gave me a smile that made me a little weary about what she would do.

The camera started it's rapid beeping and Sara made a move - I really think she meant to grab my side again but I moved and she was coming in way too low - she ended up grabbing my 'package' as the camera did its thing. "Oh my God!" She turned in horror to look at me when she realized what she was touching. "I didn't..." she stammered but her hand was still on me.

"What's going...." Billy looked around at us. "Oh!" He started to laugh really hard which did nothing to ease the situation at all. "That's one for the books," he said.

"The books?" Sara looked from me to him and then finally at the camera that was sitting across the way looking oh so innocent. "OH MY GOD!" She screamed. Finally dropping her hand from me, she started for the camera, "I'm not keeping that one."

"Tanner get the camera bag," Billy shouted to me as he took off for the camera, grabbing it just before Sara got to it.

"Billy! What are you doing? Give me that, we aren't keeping that one."

"Oh yes we are," he said holding the camera over her head. "Hold her back for a moment," he told me when I handed him the camera bag. "I've been waiting to catch you doing something like that on camera!" He laughed, "I mean how many times have you caught me doing something embarrassing? How many of those have you erased?"

"But that's different!" Sara exclaimed.

"No it's not," Billy replied as he started to run from her.

"Billy get back -" I grabbed Sara's arm. "Tanner please I have too..."

"Let him have this one Sara."

"No...but I...Tanner it was embarrassing."

"Maybe for you," I dropped her arm and headed for the edge of the cliff to look out. "I thought it felt pretty damn good."

"It was an accident," she told me. I told her I knew it was.

Billy soon came back and gave Sara back her camera. "Where are all my pictures?" She asked him after turning on the camera.

"They are safe," he told her with a smile. "I don't think anyone will delete any of them before we get them transferred."

Sara shut off her camera and stomped away muttering something about stupid, mean men. Once she was gone, Billy pulled a small case from his pocket and held it out to me. "She's so easy to annoy," he laughed as he dropped the case into my hand and walked away.

So I had her memory card in my hand and I didn't know whether or not I wanted to give it back to her before I got a copy of that picture for myself.

If I thought the walk to the cliff was bad, the walk back was completely horrible. Sara was pouting because she thought Billy still had her card, Billy seemed to not really care about the evil looks she was shooting him every time he tried to get her to stop so he could take a photo of something. And me? I just hung back, watched the two of them and wondered if this meant that Sara would pay some attention to me when we got back to camp.

She did but yet she didn't at the same time. She would talk to me more than she did to Billy but she kind of went off on her own down to the beach after lunch; she wanted to get some pictures.

While Sara was gone a bunch of Shelly's and Trav's friends showed up to spend the rest of the day with us. Before they arrived though, Travis pulled me aside and told me that Shelly had invited a chick that she was hoping I would hit it off with. "Just humor Shelly please?" He begged. "She had wanted to introduce you to her friend for a while."

"But Sara..." I glanced down towards the lake but she wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"You don't have to date Shelly's friend Tanner, just talk to her and see how it goes." Travis went to walk away but stopped. "Correct me if I'm wrong but has Sara showed you any real interest since we got here?"

She hadn't, she spent most of her time with Billy.

"That's what I thought," Travis said. "Give Heidi a chance, you may like her."

Shelly had just left after introducing me to Heidi, when Sara came running up to me. "Tanner! You have to see this!" She grabbed my arm and shoved her camera towards me at the same moment her eyes landed on Heidi. "Oh!" She paled.

"Sara!" Heidi gave her a smile. "I didn't know you knew Shelly and Travis." I was about to say that she knew them through me when Heidi asked, "So how is Ken? I haven't seen him around in a while, is he here with you?"

"No," Sara said as she dropped her hand from my arm. "We broke up."

"Really?" Heidi glanced at me. "Interesting," she said with a smile on her face.

Sara ended up leaving just after Heidi said that, she went over to Billy who was chatting with a couple of Travis' friends. I watched until she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I always knew that little tramp was cheating on Ken." I turned towards Heidi, I almost laughed in her face.

"Sara is my friend," I told her. "Don't you ever say anything like that about her again."

By the time Luke showed up at 10 Saturday night, I was already on my way to having a wicked hangover. "Maybe you should head to bed," he told me. "I'll keep an eye on Sara for you."

"Good luck," I laughed. "She hasn't left Billy's side since we got here."

"Oh don't worry," Luke slapped me on the shoulder. "I can handle the fag."

I thought I heard wrong. "What?" I asked him but he was already on his way to Sara.

Moments later Billy was standing in front of me. "What the hell were you thinking inviting that creep here? Do you have any idea how much Sara can't stand him?"

"Sara was the one who told me she would learn to deal with him because he's my friend."

"You don't deserve her, you know that?"

"And you do?"

Billy gave me a funny look, "Are you seriously that much of a jerk? You know Sara and I couldn't ever be anything more than friends."

"That's not what it looks like to me."

Before Billy could say anything, Luke was back. "Move along faggy," he was poking him in the ribs with one of Travis' roasting sticks. "Tanner isn't interested in what you are peddling." Billy told him to stop it but Luke poked him again and then stopped. "Fuck! You probably like that, don't you?"

"Of course," Billy snapped at him. "I like to fuck just like the next guy."

Luke poked Billy hard in the chest.

"Stop that!" Sara grabbed the stick from Luke and whacked him across the chest with it.

"Fuck Sara!" Luke rubbed his chest. "Why are you hanging around with this pussy? You should be hanging onto a real man, like me."

"Billy is more of a man than you'll ever be Luke!" Sara screamed at him which turned a few heads our way. "Leave him alone," she poked him like he was poking Billy earlier.

Luke laughed, "More like he's been with more men than I ever want to know about."

And that's when I finally realized that Billy was gay.

Yes sometimes I'm so fucking slow on the uptake. And no matter how hard I tried not to say it, I couldn't help but sound like a fucking moron. "Billy's gay?"

Sara, Billy and Luke all gave me the same 'are you fucking stupid' look but Sara was the only one who said anything. "Yes he's gay Tanner, you knew that."

"No," I stared at her. "I didn't know."

They all started talking at once, I guess they all thought I knew. I had to get away from them, not because I found out Billy was gay, I really didn't care about that. I needed to get out of there because now that I knew there was nothing going on with Sara and Billy, I didn't know if I could stop myself from grabbing her and making an ass out of myself in an attempt to show her that I was falling for her.

I walked down to the beach and sat there for a while, until I had control over my need for her.

When I made my way back up to the party over a half hour later, Sara came over to me as Billy hung back looking really uncomfortable now. "Please tell me you aren't like him," she asked.

"Not like who?"

"Like Luke," she replied. "Please don't let Billy's sexual preference stop you from being his friend, he needs friends just like I do Tanner." I told her I didn't care if Billy was attracted to sheep, I thought he was an alright guy. "Then why did you leave earlier? Luke said it was because of Billy, that no man in their right mind wanted to associate with a...guy like Billy."

I groaned. "I don't know if you noticed Sara but not all guys are like Luke. Billy wasn't the reason I had to get away earlier, you were."

"Me?" She seemed surprised. "What did I do wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong," I told her but I didn't tell her the real reason I had to get away. I told her that I was afraid she's start poking me with the stick.

Even though I don't think she believed me, she did laugh and turned to motion Billy over. After he came over and she told him that I didn't care about his preference, she grabbed one of his hands and one of mine and smiled at us. "I am so lucky to have both of you in my life," she said with a giggle.

Billy shook his head at her, "No more coolers for you."

"I'm not drunk," she insisted.

Sara didn't leave my side very often the rest of the night. When everyone was heading out or to bed, she turned to me and asked is she could talk to me alone.

Saturday ended with Sara curled up by my side in my tent.

First Night

As planned, I met up with Sara at my brother's house where we hung out for a while, discussing what we would do at the lake - my idea of swimming naked under the stars was shot down just like it was when I mentioned it to her the first time.

"Tanner we aren't swimming naked in the lake!" When I told her that I just might, she told me to do whatever I wanted but her clothes were staying on. "Maybe we should go to the store and grab some food for this weekend," she said in an attempt to change the subject.

"We don't need too," I told her. "It's already been taken care of." It was true, that's where Shelly was at that moment; I ran into her just as she was leaving to head downtown. I told Sara this and she seemed a little relieved.

"Good," she said as she gave me a strange look, when I asked about it she admitted that she had never been camping before. "I've been out at the lake for parties but I've never actually been included in any real camping trips before; Ken always had camping was for losers."

I opened my mouth with the intent of saying exactly how much of a loser I thought the bastard was but instead I laughed. "Well of course it is! I'm the biggest loser you'll ever meet," I jumped up and grabbed her hand, pulling her off the front step. "We should get started on our trip to loser land but first we need to make a stop at the liquor store; Travis told me to bring beer or he wouldn't let me hang out with him."

We had just pulled into the parking lot of the liquor store when Billy called me, I told him to meet us, gave him the directions and then hung up. "Who was that?" Sara asked cautiously. I told her it was Billy. "Oh!" She looked surprised and maybe a little confused. "I thought you and Billy didn't get along?"

"We didn't but that changed since you have been off from work," I glanced at her. "It seems that worrying about you gave us something in common."

"Sorry about that," she mumbled. "Oh! There he is," she yanked on the door handle and jumped out of my car as Billy pulled in beside us. I watched with this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as she went to Billy and gave him a hug. The blood pounded in my ears, I couldn't believe I actually forgot about this part; I didn't want to share her with any guy yet I invited two of the guys who I knew were interested in her.

Was I fucking stupid or what? I was so sure that the weekend would blow now just because I was a moron. There was no way to call Luke and tell him not to come, I had already told him where we were going and mentioned that Sara was going to be there; he would show up even if I called and told him not too.

Sara and Billy started to walk towards the store, her arm was linked through his and I just wanted to knock the crap out of him. I hurried to catch up with them but I could've sat in the car for all they noticed. They were talking about people I didn't know, people I didn't give a rat's ass about; I was being ignored and I hated that.

While they stood in front of one of the coolers discussing whether or not they would pick up some Mike's Hard or Smirnoff Ice, I grabbed a cart and wheeled it over to the beer coolers and proceeded to fill it with flats of Canadian and Budweiser. I was done so I joined them, they were still talking about what to get. "Are you two ladies done yet?"

Both Sara and Billy turned around at stare at me; Sara looked visually upset and Billy looked really uncomfortable. "Tanner that wasn't very funny!" She snapped at me before turning her attention back to Billy. "I think we should get the Smirnoff," she told him. "I threw up once with the Mark's Hard and I can't even stomach the thought of drinking it anymore."

"Well that decides it," Billy yanked the cooler door opened. "How many did you want?" There was something strange going on between the two of them but I didn't say anything, Sara was already giving me dirty looks for some reason.

Before we left the store, I grabbed five bags of ice - four of them I proceeded to dump into the coolers that were in the trunk of my car, the last bag, I didn't open but still but it in the one cooler in case someone needed ice later. While I shoved as much beer as I could into the coolers, Sara and Billy stood over by his car, whispering to each other. I never felt so out of place in my life, I didn't like it at all.

"Fine, I'll ask him." I heard Sara say before she made her way over to me. "Hey Tanner?"

"Yeah?" I didn't look up from what I was doing.

"I was wondering," she placed her hand on my forearm and I glanced at her. "Could Billy ride up to the lake with us? There really isn't any point in taking two cars, is there?"

I wanted to saw that there was a reason but since Travis had a truck, all the stuff I had in my car was going in the bed of his truck. "Sure he can," Sara smiled at me. "We just have to head back to Trav's before we go," I turned to Billy. "You can leave your car at my brother's."

An hour later - after packing everything from my car, Billy's and Sara's camping stuff and the coolers of food Shelly picked up, into the truck - we were finally on the road to the lake. The trip itself would only take a half hour but it felt like forever when Sara claimed control over my stereo and the pop music flooded my car.

The first night at the lake went by really fast. It seemed that all we did was set up the tents that Sara, Billy and I would be sleeping in - my brother had a camper that stayed at the lake all summer long. We swam for a while, ate supper, sat around and bullshitted for most of the night before slowly but surely everyone started to drift off to their sleeping area.

Luke didn't show up Friday night, he told me that he wouldn't be there because he had some hot date that he wasn't about to cancel for anything; in other words, he was getting laid. Lucky bastard.

Weekend Plans

Fuck have I been busy lately! I'm not complaining, it's a good busy but still I'm glad that I have a couple minutes to relax right now. In fact I have all day to relax, well sleep but either way, it's all good!

Since I posted here, I've barely been home at all. I wasn't home all weekend, I didn't get home until yesterday after work and then I crashed, or tried too but I was out again until I went to work last night. It's funny that all I felt like I was doing lately was working and sleeping and I hated it but after the last couple days, I'm looking forward to slipping back into that routine.

Friday morning, after writing for this site, I stripped down and headed off to the shower; my plans for that day was to do absolutely nothing! Just like my plans for the next three days - Monday was a holiday here so I had an extra night off!

When I got out of the shower, after I toweled off, I headed back to my room and happened to glance at my phone, surprised to see that the message light was blinking; no one ever calls me! And I had three messages! Boy was I popular all of a sudden!

First one, from my brother. "Kids are at Shelly's mom's for the weekend so Shelly and I are going to the lake. Bring lots of beer and some really hot chicks..." I heard Shelly's voice in the background and my brother laughed. "I mean invite whoever you want! But don't forget the beer!!"

Second one was Luke. "Heeey Tanner! Where the hell have you been man? You just disappeared from the face of the earth! Give me a call and we'll party the weekend away."

Moments after Luke's voice faded away, Sara's came through the speaker. "Hi Tanner, it's Sara. I was hoping to catch you but I guess...well I obviously didn't. Have a good weekend, I'll see you next week."

Out of the three of them, Sara was the first one I called back; I already knew what the other two wanted. Sara's mother answered on the second ring, she asked me how I was doing when I told her who I was. "I'm doing ok," I told her and asked how she was.

"Oh you know," she sounded a little tired. "But I'm worried about Sara, she's been acting a little withdrawn lately." She went on to tell me that Sara spends most of her time locked in her room. "I don't know what she's doing in there," she said quietly. "I tell her she should be out with friends but she doesn't listen to me; she says she wanted to be here for me but seeing her miserable isn't helping me at all. She needs to get out of the house and have some fun. She's young, she should be living it up!"

I couldn't help but smile at that. "I have just the thing," I told Sara's mother. "My brother and his wife are heading out to the lake for the weekend and they are inviting everyone they can think of out to join them."

"Oh that sounds wonderful, just let me get Sara for you." Her mother dropped the phone, she hollered out to Sara. "Sara! Sara! Your young man is on the phone!"

I was chuckling still when Sara's bewildered voice came over the wire. "Hello?" She said slowly, as if she was afraid who would be on the other end.

"Hello Sara."

"Tanner!" She sounded relieved that it was me. "I called you," she said and then groaned. "I guess you already know that."

I told her I did. "I was in the shower when you called."

When she said 'oh, ok' I couldn't help but wonder if she was picturing me naked; I wanted her to be picturing me naked. "What?" She had said something while I was running around in my head about whether or not she was picturing me naked.

"I asked what you were doing this weekend," she repeated. "You do have Sunday off too, right?"
"Yes," I regained some composure. "That's what I was calling about. How would you like to spend the weekend in the great outdoors with me and my brother, his wife and whoever else shows up? We could sleep under the stars and swim naked in the lake - also under the stars!" Sara laughed. "What do you say? Are you in?"

"Except for that last part, it sounds like fin Tanner but...I can't I have to stay here with my mom."

"No you don't missy!" I heard her mom saying. "A nice young man just asked you to spend the weekend with him, you want to do and you will!"

"Mom," Sara must've covered the mouthpiece because all I heard were muffled voices until she came back and told me that she would go with me. We made plans for her to meet me at my brother's house around 2 and we would go from there.

As I was about to hang up, I told her I had to go call Travis and Luke back. "Luke isn't going to be at the lake, is he?" She asked.

"Well I was going to invite him along but if that means you won't want to be there, then I don't have too."

She was quiet for a while, a long while, I wasn't sure she was still there. "Sara?"

She sighed. "You should invite him," she told me. "He is your friend and I guess I'll have to get used to that if I want to be your friend as well." i was about to ask her is she was sure but she told me she had to go. "I'll see you at 2!"

It wasn't until I hung up from talking to my brother that I realized the bad mood that settled over me was because she mentioned being my friend. Did I want her to be just a friend? No, not really.

While I was on the phone with my brother, Billy tried calling. So when I hung up from talking to Travis, I checked my message. "Hey Tanner, just calling to see if we were still on for tonight. Give me a call at ***-****"

Billy and I had started to hang around more at work since everything happened with Sara, I guess the concern we both have for her kind of gave us something in common and I realized I didn't hate him as much as I thought I would. I told him that we could possibly hang out tonight, if there was something interesting going on in town; I guess I forgot about it. I called him back and told him we were all heading out to the lake.

Having made plans for the weekend, I decided to grab a couple hours of sleep.

Seen The Light?

After the night with Crazy, I was so happy to get into my car and drive home where the world makes a little more sense. Plus there are no psychos in my house, so that's always a bonus.

My parents were still at home when I got there, which wasn't really unusual because some mornings they don't leave until 8. When 8 came around, my father went off to the store but mom stayed home, which again wasn't that surprising, she normally runs some errands and stuff before going in.

Before I headed off to bed to see if I could get a couple hours of sleep, mom asked me when the funeral was and what time I was leaving to go to Lakeland. "It's at 2," I told her. "But I want to talk to Sara before, or try too." All mom did was nod and tell me to have a good rest.

The buzzing of my alarm clock woke me from my sleep at noon but that wasn't what made me jump out of bed and run downstairs; hearing my parents voices did that.

"What are you two doing home?" I demanded as I ran into the kitchen where they were getting something to eat. "You are never home at this time! What's wrong?" I gave them both a good once over, they didn't look sick or anything.

"Tanner really! You almost gave me a heart attack!" Mom held her hand over her chest. "We are home to get ready for the funeral," she told me. "You did say you were leaving at one, didn't you?"

I stared at my parents in shock, I didn't know they were planning on going to the funeral, they barely even knew Sara. When I mentioned that to them, mom told me that she only thought it was right since Sara was a friend of mine and she would need all the support she could get.

We arrived at the church a half hour before the funeral was to start, I was happy to see that there were quite a few people already there but I was even happier to see that Sara was there. She was standing off to one side of the church's front yard with an older woman who looked like she was on the verge of losing it; Sara looked like she was trying to calm the woman, who I assumed was her mom, they looked a lot alike. I don't think Sara's attempt at calming her mom worked because she seemed to be a little lost for what to do when she happened to turn to say something to the bastard, who was standing a couple feet away from them, smoking. When she spotted me, she gave me a smile and a little wave.

My parents insisted on going with me when I started to walk over to Sara. "Hey Tanner," she was smiling but the smile wasn't reaching her eyes; she looked so tired and stressed, I just wanted to take her in my arms and tell her that everything would be ok. Of course, I couldn't really do that, not with the bastard and her mother watching. But it turned out, I didn't need too, she came to me and hugged me. "I'm so glad to see you," she whispered before she pulled back to speak to my parents.

After introducing everyone around her, Sara told us that her mom and her had to go deal with something. Soon my parents and I were standing alone with the bastard. Thankfully he didn't stick around long, he mumbled something about someone he had to talk too.

Before we went into the church, I heard someone call out to me. Turning I saw Billy crossing the grass and then noticed that there were a few other people from work with him; including Judy, our manager. I wished that Sara was there at that moment, just to see how many people were there for her, to support her through this or any other situation she found herself in. I introduced my parents to Billy and the others, then we all made our way into the church to find a place to sit down.

By the time the funeral actually started, there was barely any room left in the church for any one else to squeeze in, I was starting to wonder if Sara's parents knew this many people or... "Tanner!" Mom poked me in the side and held out the little paper program thing with a picture of Sara's father on the front cover. "You didn't tell me Sara's father was the owner of TireWorld!"

"What?" I snatched the thing from mom and read it for myself. "Huh, that explains the crowd."

I won't get into the details of the funeral because I was too busy trying not to see Sara's father's body in the open casket at the front of the church to really pay much attention to what was being said or done. But a couple times, I noticed Sara looking back over the crowd like she was looking for someone but every time she did that, the bastard would turn to her and she would turn back around.

We joined the funeral possession as it made it's way to the cemetery. As everyone else was watching the minister, I was watching Sara as she stood beside her mother's chair with the bastard standing beside her, his arm was around her waist but she seemed to be distancing herself from him, she wasn't touching him. She stood with her arms crossed over her chest and she was staring at the casket in front of her; she wasn't crying, she wasn't showing any emotion at all.

Once the casket was lowered into the ground, the crowd started to break up and head to the church hall where everyone who hadn't had a chance to pass on their condolences seemed to swarm around Sara and her mom the second they walked into the building.

It was a half hour before Sara was alone and I took that opportunity to talk to her. Grabbing a glass of water from the table, I made my way over to her. She was standing back on to me but when I said her name she turned around.

"Oh," she smiled and took the glass I held out to her. "Thank you." She didn't drink from it, I didn't actually expect her too. "I hate funerals," she told me. "Everyone expects me to cry and I can't Tanner."

We talked for a few minutes and then she told me she had to go talk to some one for a moment. "Can you do me a favor?" She asked before she left by side. I told her I would try and she gave me an address.

"What is that for?"

"It's my parent's address," she told me. "When I leave here to take mom home, she's going to take a couple pills that the doctor prescribed for her and they will knock her out. I don't want to sit at home alone, I want you to come over..." she followed my gaze to where the bastard was talking with some guys and she sighed. "He will make an excuse to leave after he brings us home, he doesn't like being around mom right now, he says he can't handle her depression."

As much as I wanted to go over to her place, I wasn't sure I should. "Sara I don't think..." She grabbed my arm, giving me a pleading look. "Ok," I told her. "I'll come over."

"Alone?" She asked as she glanced at my parents.

"Sure," I told her. "They wanted me to bring them to Travis' anyway, so I can come alone."

An hour later, I dropped my parents off at my brother's house and drove to Sara's. When I got there she was sitting on the porch swing, covered in a blanket even though it was 24 degrees in the shade. We didn't talk as we sat side by side on the swing. In fact, I wasn't so sure she really knew I was there.

Twenty minutes passed and finally she moved, she stood up, held out her hand to me. I took her hand and she led me into the cool house, down a hallway to a set of stairs and then into what I could only assume was her room.

She dropped my hand and took a couple steps away from me before turning around to face me. I was frozen in place I watched her lift her hands to her shirt, unbuttoning it slowly as she stared at me. I knew I shouldn't be watching but as each button slipped from it's hole, I couldn't take my eyes off her.

When the last button was free and she stood there with her shirt hanging open, I went to her. My hands slipped under her shirt onto her bare back, her skin was so smooth and warm to the touch. I felt her lips on my neck and it took all the will power I had to speak, to tell her she really didn't want to do this.

"Yes I do," she kissed my neck again. "I want to feel you Tanner; I want you to make love to me."

"Sara," I groaned, it was pure agony to hear her say those words and know she would regret it afterwards; I almost gave in to her, especially when she slipped her hand between us to stroke my stiff cock through my pants. "You have a boyfriend," I groaned, trying to reason with her. "You just buried your father, you aren't thinking clearly."

She stopped touching me and I gazed down at her upturned face. "I'm a horrible person," she whispered as she threw her arms around my waist, burying her face against my chest. I was so sure she could hear as well as feel how hard my heart was beating from being this close to her. I tried to tell her she wasn't a horrible person but she insisted that she was. "I wished for this," she said.

"You wished for what?"

She moved back to stare up at me, "I wished for my dad to die." She started to cry, "I'm going to hell for that, this is all my fault!"

Over the next hour, I held her as she cried and told me the story of her life; it seems that the bastard wasn't the only one who was abusive towards her, Sara's father was physically and mentally abusive to her all her life. "He's the reason I moved out of here," she told me. "I didn't want to feel like that anymore but I'm so stupid and I ran right into the arms of a man that treats me the same way. What's wrong with me Tanner? Why can't I get out?"

"You can get out," I told her. "You need to get out, you don't deserve to be treated this way."

It was late when I left her parent's house on Wednesday to head to work. She promised me that she would take the steps to ensure her safety and end things with the bastard. "You have to do this for you," I told her before I left. "If you need any help at all, you know where to reach me and you know where you can go if I'm not around. You have lots of people who care about you and love you Sara, they'll do anything to help you."

I talked to her for a couple hours before I went to work last night, she seemed better but this morning when I called her, her mother told me that she didn't come home from the bastard's place last night.

She called me an hour ago to tell me that she did it, she spoke to the bastard and told him that she couldn't see him anymore. "I told him that I needed to be here for my mom and between her and work, I wouldn't have time to give him the attention he deserves." She sighed, "It was almost too easy Tanner."

A Little Crazy, Just A Little

I'll apologize right now because my next comment may not go over all that well. What the fuck is wrong with women that they think they 'own' a guy? And I'm not talking women who are in a serious relationship, although even then you don't 'own' the guy. No, I'm talking about the clingy psychopath that I have the pleasure of working with! Fuck! Seriously! Fucking crazy!

The last two nights at work, Rachael, the chick I've been working with has been acting really bitchy and snapping at me for no reason; I assumed it was just because she was female.

At one point on Tuesday, I was on the ladder and I asked her to hand me the dog beds so I didn't have to keep going up and down the ladder; they weren't that heavy, just awkward.

She came over to the high wall where I was and just stared up at me. "Rach, the beds?" I pointed to the pile behind her. "Could you hand them to me?"

"I heard you when you asked the first time," she snapped as she grabbed one of the beds. "Here!" She proceeded to throw it at me. Yes you read that right! I'm up on the top of a 8 foot ladder and she's throwing stuff at me.

That's not even the worst part!

I had a moment of sheer brilliance when I actually moved to grab at the bed which didn't even come close to me and almost fell off the fucking ladder. "What the fuck are you doing?" I yelled at her without even stopping to think about what I was saying.

"Don't yell at me," she screams at me and throws another bed at me; this time I didn't move to catch it.

"Stop fucking throwing them at me!" I yelled. "I'm onto top of a ladder you stupid twit! What are you trying to do, kill me?"

Rachael glared at me and got this really stubborn look in her eye. "I'm not helping -"

"No shit!" I snapped at her. "You aren't helping me at all! Why it is so difficult for you to comprehend passing me the fucking beds?"

By this time Judy was standing at the end of the aisle staring at the two of us. "What's going on here?" She looked back and forth between the two of us. "Rachael?" When Rachael rolled her eyes and stared stubbornly upwards, Judy raised a questioning brow in my direction. "Tanner?"

I shrugged, "I have no idea. I just asked her to pass me the dog beds." Rachael gave me a dirty look but didn't say anything.

"Is someone going to tell me why I heard yelling, swearing and name calling?" Judy tapped her foot, looking between us once again. When neither one of us said anything, she glanced at her watch. "It's time for break," she said. "I suggest that the two if you work through whatever this is before break is over. I will not have this sort of behaviour on my shift! Do you understand?"

We both nodded and she picked up the phone beside her on the wall, punched in the code for the PA and called break. Soon she was gone and it was just Rachael and me again.

"What the hell was all that about?" I asked Rachael as I climbed down the ladder. But she was gone before I got to the bottom.

We were sitting in the staffroom but she was ignoring me; she seemed determined not to explain her actions at all. In fact, she seemed intent on pretending that I wasn't there.

That is until Billy came over and started to talk about Sara. "I called her before I came to work," he told me. "She wasn't really all that talkative, said she was just tired but I don't know, she sounded different."

"Well I would probably sound different too if I was her."

Beside me, Rachael snapped the magazine she was reading closed and tossed in onto the pile that was on the other side of me. When I turned in her direction, she glared at me. "What is your problem?"

"You." She snapped as she jumped up to make her way out of the staff room.

Billy was laughing when I turned back to him. "You have such a way with the ladies, " he said and then asked me if I was going to the funeral the next day.

We spent the rest of the break talking about funerals and how much we hated them. "I'm just going to show Sara some support," I told him and he nodded.

Rachael was waiting for me when I got back to pets. "Who is Sara?"

"Sara?" She nodded so I told her that Sara worked nights with us but she's been off for the past week for personal reasons. "Why do you ask?"

"Are you dating her?"

"Umm, no." I laughed. "Sara is my friend."

"Good," she said and then didn't say anything else so I turned to walk back to the ladder. That's when she added. "Because I would hate to be the one to tell her that you have been coming on to me all week, trying to get with me."

You know that face you make when you hear something that sounds totally fucking crazy? That 'whatthefuck?' frowning, confused as hell face? That was me when she said that. I turned slowly. "What did you just say?" I still couldn't believe I heard her right.

She smiled, "Not that I would say anything if you were dating her but she would find out that you were hitting on me and acting like you want me."

I tried to figure out how the hell she got that idea when I did nothing to encourage her. Fuck! I didn't even comment when she sat there and told me all about her sexual past; I didn't fucking care!

She was standing right in front of me now. "It's good that you aren't seeing her," she repeated and her hand slipped over my chest. "I don't share."

That right there made me laugh out loud. "You don't share?" I shook me head, stepping back from her.

"That's right," she frowned. "I don't share my guys."

"Whoa!" I really jumped back then. "Your guy?" She nodded. "When..." I couldn't even wrap my head around that statement enough to comment.

She gave me a naughty smile and I swear I felt sick. It's not that she was ugly, I just wasn't into her like that! "You don't have to pretend," she told me. "I know what you want and I don't have a problem giving it to you; I just don't share."

"Ummm..." I looked passed her and saw Billy as he went through the toy skid across the main action alley. "Oh looks like Billy needs some help," I said quickly and left her standing there.

When I told Billy about Rachael, he couldn't stop laughing. "Fuck off!" I snapped.

I ended up hightailing it to Judy and squealed like a little pig about what happened when we were yelling and the little creepy episode just after break. I told her I didn't want to work with Rachael any more. "I don't even want her around me."

I know it was a cowardly thing to do, go to Judy but fuck! I can only take so much crazy!

Last night Judy assigned Rachael to housewares which is as far away from me as she can get without doing Sara's department. Rachael was shooting me dirty looks all night but she didn't say anything to me. Although Billy told me later that she was saying some pretty nasty things about me when I wasn't around.

I don't fucking care! Let crazy say all she wants, she's out of my hair and that's all that matters.

Now the...

Fuck!

I have to run to my parents store to help dad for a few hours. The funeral will have to wait until the next post.

At least there were no really crazy chicks there claiming I belonged to them.