Monday's Ending

In the early morning light last Monday, I found myself watching Sara as she slept. Her comment the night before about wanting to kiss me since the first night she saw me kind of threw me for a loop; I didn't think she even liked me that night. I know that I wasn't here biggest fan; I can't even remember when I stopped disliking her. Maybe it was when she finally saw I wasn't a complete idiot. Or maybe I just had to give her a little time, like Billy had told me that first night.

Even though I would find it creepy to wake up and see someone staring down at me like I was with Sara, it didn't stop me at all. She was lying on her back with her head tilted away from me, her long dark hair spread out over the pillow beneath her head.

While one arm was resting across her stomach, the other one was thrown out at her side like she made a move to slap at something in her sleep. I hope it wasn't me she was trying to slap!

It was warmer Monday morning, she didn't need the sleeping bag like she did the day before which was evident in the way she had pushed it down her body leaving only the area between her waist and thighs covered. Her thighs!

I was trying not to let my gaze travel down there but I couldn't help it. Her legs were parted - her one leg was straight but the other one was angled away from her; she looked like she just passed out but I knew she hadn't had anything to drink the night before.

She started to move as I was checking out her legs, cutting my sight seeing tour short as my eyes jumped to her face once again. Her eyes fluttered, I thought she was going to open them but she didn't. "Tanner," she sighed and turned towards me, the arm that was thrown out from her side earlier, now rested at my waist - or her hand did at least.

A whiny sounding groan came from her throat as she tugged gently at my waist - I took that to mean she wanted to closer. And when I slid up to her, she sighed once again and gave me a tight squeeze.

While I was dying - totally fucking horny - Sara slipped back into her dreams. It would be another frustratingly amazing two hours before she woke up. I had my eyes closed, trying to sleep while I held her tight while still 'dying'. I felt her moved back to look up at me moments before I heard her say my name softly.

With my eyes still closed, I smiled, hugging her tight.

"Tanner!" She gasped but didn't try to pull away from me as she said something that took me a moment to understand. "Model dreams again?"

I laughed. "Model dreams?" I opened my eyes, unintentionally giving her a very heated look.

"I never believed it," she stated, lowering her head but not before I saw her cheeks redden.

She left my tent not long after that. I'm not sure what happened in that moment, I asked her a few times if I did something wrong but she kept telling me that I didn't do anything wrong, she just needed to get some fresh air.

Monday was our last day at the lake since all of us had to work that night (Billy, Sara and me) or the next day (Travis and Shelly) so most of the morning was full of us getting in that last swim, or walk or whatever. In other words, I didn't get to spend that much time alone with Sara.

When we got back to town, she seemed to be in a hurry to get home and check on her mom. "I'll see you tonight," she through over her shoulder as she headed to her car.

"Sara wait," I called out as I made my way over to her. "Is everything ok?" I asked her when I was in front of her.

"Yes Tanner," she smiled up at me. "Everything is fine."

"Then why are you running away?"

"I'm not running..." she sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. And yes! I looked! How could I not? She knew what that did to me and after having them pressed against me many times that weekend, I needed to look. They were just as great as I remembered. "Tanner!" She made a move to hit me but when her hand touched my chest it was more likely to stroke than to hit. "I had so much fun this weekend," she gazed up at me.

"So did I," my hands were on her waist, pulling her near. "Do you really have to go?" My lips brushed against her cheek, I wanted to kiss her so badly but I didn't want to push her.

"I should go check on my mom," she jerked her head in the direction of my mouth but turned away before I could react. "Plus I have laundry to do before work tonight."

I groaned. "Never been turned down for laundry before."

"Tanner," she sighed sadly. "We can't do this."

"Why not?" I softly kissed her cheek. "You want too and I really want too; why can't we do this?"

She pulled back from me until she got me to look into her eyes. "I really like you Tanner and I don't want to hurt you."

"Don't worry about me."

"But I do," she stared into my eyes as if she was trying to get me to understand without her saying it. But I needed her to say it. "I just got out of a three year relationship -" I grunted. "I did Tanner! It may not have been the best relationship but still! I need time to deal with it. I want to be sure that I'm ok before I get involved with someone else." She pulled away from me completely. "I don't want you to be the 'rebound' guy Tanner."

"What about if I want to be that guy?"

Sara shook her head. "I don't want you to be that guy Tanner, rebound relationships barely ever last. I want us to..." she stopped. "I have to go."

I tried to get her to finish that sentence but she wouldn't. It had to be that she wanted us to last, right?

Work sucked last week mainly because it was really warm and there was a lot to catch up on from the three days I had off.

Sara hadn't been avoiding me but she seems to make sure that Billy is always around when she sees me at work.

Meanwhile Billy and I have hung out quite a bit since last weekend, he has been giving me some insight on the wonder that is Sara. To be honest, I think he has a crush on her. I asked him about that one night and he laughed. "If Sara was a guy, I'd be all over her."

I don't know what to do about Sara. How do I handle this situation? I don't want to push her and end up driving her away but at the same time, I don't want to sit idly by waiting for her to be ready, only to have her be ready for another guy.