Out Of His Mind

"Oh, you are still here." It was almost 11 when Anna returned to our room.

Travis, who had claimed her bed for his as we watched TV, rolled his head to the side to look at her. "Yeah." Then, pointing to the phone on the nightstand, he asked her to call her boyfriend.

Puzzled, Anna asked him why.

"I think the phone is broken."

"What?" She crossed over to the night stand and picked up the receiver, dialing '9' for an outside line. "Dial tone," she held the phone out to him. "It works."

"No," he sat up, shaking his head. "I don't think it's able to receive calls." Anna didn't look too convinced, she hung up the phone. "Look, could you just give him a call and ask him to call you back?"

Telling him she didn't have time for it, Anna started to walk away. "The phone's not broken," she threw over her shoulder. "Your wife just don't want to talk to you."

"Bitch!" Travis spat as he sent her pillow sailing in her direction.

When she disappeared into the bathroom, he turned to me. "Try calling Sara again, maybe she was just sleeping and didn't get your messages."

"If last night didn't happen -"

Travis groaned. "How many times do you want me to apologize? I said I was sorry her friend caught you having a good time but fuck man -"

"But I wasn't having fun," I snapped at him. "I didn't even want to go out!"

"Yeah, right!" He scoffed. "You didn't seem too miserable when you face planted in that chicks' tits with every shot."

"Her tits weren't even that special," I informed him. "They're fake and she smelt funny."

"Like that ever mattered before Tanner!" He laughed. "Are you forgetting that I know the women you've hooked up with?" He paused and then said, "Tammy."

I almost puked at the mention of her name. Cringing, I tried as hard as possible not to remember Tammy's horrible body odor. It wasn't that she didn't shower - she did, we did together - she was just a sweaty woman. "I was drunk most of the time, what the hell did I care?"

"Ok." He slid across Anna's bed to sit on the edge facing my bed. "Candy?"

"Candy?" I stared blankly at him.

"You know," he motioned towards his face. "The chick fucking ugly chick you were banging for a while....the one who was always stuffing her face with whatever candy she could get her paws on."

"Oh!" I rolled my eyes. "You mean...." I frowned. "What was that chick's name?"

Travis shrugged, "Don't know but fuck Tanman, she was ugly!"

Maybe it was cruel. Maybe it was completely uncalled for but Travis and I had a good laugh about 'Candy' and many of the other 'miss' chicks that I've dated.

"With all the losers that you dated, I have to know, what's wrong with Sara? She doesn't seem to be a 'miss'."

"There's nothing wrong with her."

"There's got to be something," he insisted. "Otherwise mom would have her over all the time - getting to know her - like she did with Shelly when..." He ran his hands over his face as he trailed off. "Why isn't she calling me back Tanner? She can't be serious, can she?"

"About leaving you?"

He nodded and then told me something I didn't know before. "This isn't the first time she left." He went on to tell me that Shelly had packed up the boys and her stuff a couple times before. "She always went to the hotel - the one I took her too that night - but I called there and they said she wasn't registered."

"Maybe she went elsewhere," I offered.

"You think?" He sounded so hopeful, I didn't want to tell him that 'no, I didn't think'. "No," he replied before I could. "She wouldn't change hotel's unless she..." All color drained from his face. "She's serious. She's done with me."

What do you say that hasn't been said before?

While I tried to think of something to say, Travis fell back against Anna's bed and rolled onto his side, facing the wall.

The only noise in the room was the sound of the shower running and the TV as it circled through the same old commercials for the tenth time that night. Every now and then I would hear Travis cursing under his breath but I didn't know what he was saying.

Quarter to twelve, Anna was seated at the table by the window with her laptop. Fast clicking of the keys, familiar MSN sounds and the occasional laughter were all I heard from her since she sat down there.

Travis, when Anna came out of the bathroom, got off her bed to lie on mine but he wasn't in the mood to talk; he laid back and closed his eyes. He hadn't moved at all so I assumed he was sleeping.

Me. I was tired but not tired enough to sleep, so I was watching bad late night TV with the captions on so I didn't disturb either of them.

Someone else had other ideas though. At twelve, the hotel phone broke the silence.

Travis and I jumped at the same time; both hoping it was for us. As soon as the first ring finished, I snatched the receiver off the base. "Sara?" Nothing, if not hopeful.

"Sorry, no," Shelly's voice came over the phone.

"Oh! Do you -?"

"No!" She cut me off. "I don't want to talk to Travis. I want you to tell him to stop calling me."

I watched Travis fall back against the mattress again, only to jump up a moment later to disappear into the bathroom. "He's in the bathroom," I whispered. "I can get him, it won't take too long."

"Tanner you aren't listening to me," Shelly sighed. "I don't want to talk to him. Tell him to stop calling me, I'll call him when I'm damn good and ready - divorce papers in hand."

I didn't want to hear that. I didn't even want to be involved in this. "He's my brother Shelly, I can't be the one to tell him that." I asked her if she was sure this was what she wanted to do.

She hesitated, for the longest time. So long that I thought she would tell me that it wasn't, that she wanted Travis to smarten up. Then she finally spoke, "I have to Tanner, it's never going to change and I'm tired of it."

"Ok." What else could I say? Besides, "I'm not going to be the go between, if you want Travis to stop calling you, you'll have to tell him yourself. And I'm not telling him that you won't be willing to talk until you have divorce papers drawn up. I'm not doing it."

Shelly told me it was ok, she understood. "I guess I just wanted to -"

The phone was yanked out of my hand. "Hey!" I tried to grab it back but Travis wouldn't give it up.

"Shelly?" He swung at me as he said her name. "Come on Shelly, don't do this, I know it's you, who else could it be?" He paused but I'm assuming she didn't say anything because he hung his head. "Ok, fine, don't talk, just listen. I -"

"What do you mean you don't want too? Why not?"

"Yeah, ok, I know but -" He let out a frustrated groan. "Damn it Shelly, you know I didn't mean that!"

"What do you...you know me better than that damn it!"

"No!" He started to shake his head. "No, I'm not."

"No!"

"Well I don't care, 'no' is all I have to say to that. I'm not agreeing to it!"

"If you want to know why, come home and I'll tell you why."

"Damn it Shelly, I..." he trailed off when he realized that I was listening to his every word. Turning away from me, he held his hand over his mouth and whispered, "I'll do anything, anything at all for you, but I'm not signing anything that says our marriage was a mistake! We aren't a mistake Shelly - yeah, we argue but all couples argue. It doesn't mean -"

The longest pause of his entire conversation happened at that moment; I believe it was a whole five minutes. As he listened to Shelly, I watched his face turn red as he got angry.

And then he blew up.

"Fuck that shit!" He snapped. "Who the fuck do they think they are, telling you that we aren't working when he's out screwing around every single weekend! Tell your brother to go fuck himself, we aren't getting a divorce."

I'm guessing she told him that she was filing for divorce because he told her that he really didn't want her to do that. "Let's talk about this, face to face Shelly." He told her she could even pick where they talked. "There, at home, somewhere else, I really don't care, I just want to see you."

A few minutes later, Travis asked her to tell the boys he missed them. All the anger that was in his voice moments before had disappeared. "I'm glad you called Shelly, missing you is a bitch when I don't hear from you."

When he hung up, a smile - the first real one since he arrived the night before - appeared on his face but disappeared the moment he looked up and saw Anna and me. "What the fuck are you two staring at?"