Stand Up

It will come as no surprise to anyone reading that once again Sara and I didn't go all the way that day but for once, it wasn't Sara who stopped it. It was me. I really wanted her, to be lost in her but something in the back of my head, a voice I only heard once, kept repeating, 'Maybe you should get Tanner to help you with that little 'problem' we were talking about earlier, he looks like he would be more than willing!'

"Sara..." I hated to stop her, she was all over me. Her lips were on my neck, her hands ran up and down my bare back and her legs had wrapped around mine as she held me tight against her heat. God it was so fucking hot! "Baby please...stop..."

"Huh?" She pulled back, her eyes still clouded over as she stared up at me, unsure of what was going on.

I dropped my head down beside hers and groaned.

"Tanner?" She tried to push me back. "What's going on? Did I do something wrong?" I shook my head as I felt her body tense beneath mine. "Then what is it? Do you not want me?"

"God Sara!" I pressed my pelvis against hers. "Does it feel like I don't want you?

"Mmmm," she moved under me, driving me further insane. "No, it feels gooood Tanner."

I buried my face in her pillow, her scent surrounding my further. "I can't do this," I manage to mumble.

"What?" She tried to push me back again but I wouldn't let her, I didn't think I could look at her and still do what I knew what right. Then she said something I'll never forget. "Did you want me from behind?"

I shot up to stare down at her, pretty certain I misunderstood what she said, only to find her giggling. "Don't look so shocked Tanner," she reached up to run her fingers along my cheek. "I don't know how you like to do this...to do me."

"First time, this would be great. Second time, you'll have to do all the work."

She smiled, truly smiled, her eyes lit up and everything. "That sounds good to me but..." she glanced down before frowning up at me. “Why did you stop when we were heading towards the first time?"

With a huge sigh, I untangled myself from her and rolled onto my side next to her. "Sara, I don't think this is the right time."

"What?" She turned to me, her hand landing on my bare chest. "Why not? We both want too. Right?"

"Yes!" I pulled her to me. "You know damn well how badly I want you."

"Then why did you stop? I don't understand Tanner, please tell me."

I felt stupid as I told her about remembering what her friend said that day I thought she was back with the Bastard but even thinking that she's never gotten off during sex got to me and it made me want it to be 'special'. "And now that I say it out loud, I feel like a pussy."

Sara laughed at that. "No don't feel that way," she told me, her eyes glistening in the low light coming from her bedside lamp. "It's sweet that you would care but Tanner," her eyes went wide as she pressed her body against mine. "I really, really want you now."

I may be a fool but I stood my ground, I told her she would have to wait. "Our first time will be something you'll never forget Sara, I promise you that."

I guess it's a little understandable that she was pouty and tried to convince me that just being with me would be memorable no matter if it happened later or at that moment. "I think now would be good," she told me as her hand slipped down between us. "Don't you want to know how...?”

Cutting her off with a kiss only intensified the pleasure her hand was giving me. It was agonizing to stop her, I swear I almost fucking cried when I forced her hand from my throbbing cock. "Sara this isn't easy for me to do..."

"I know," she sighed. "And I do understand why but I've been wondering what it would be like with you since the moment I saw you. And that night in the bar with Claire? God! I wished that was me for the longest time."

I raised a brow, the idea of taking Sara over the sink in the bathroom of a bar didn't seem right and I told her that. "No baby you'd be more the bathroom stall kinda girl."

"Whatever!" She laughed. "You'd be surprised what I would do for you Tanner."

"Tell me what you would do," I challenged her. "Whisper them in my ear."

"Nah," she waved me off with a teasing grin. "If you don't plan on letting me seduce you today, we should get some sleep." She turned from me, reached for her alarm clock and set it so that I would have enough time to get up and leave for my interview with Chester.

We were curled up under a sheet; her back was against my chest. I was nowhere near being ready to fall asleep even though I was really tired. I was thinking about my job opinions and the possibility of Sara leaving when she turned slightly and said my name. "I just wanted to say thanks for wanting our first time to be something special for us," she slipped her hand over mine. "I know I may not have seemed like it earlier but I am glad that you are considerate and caring." She chuckled, "And I don't think you are a pussy at all."

Laughing, I told her to go to sleep or I'll forget all about being a thoughtful man.

Since that day I've worked out my final two weeks with Sara and Billy. It was difficult the last night, I had come to enjoy working with everyone and I liked my job but as Sara said, I needed to do something that would make me happy. Although it wasn't my dream job of running my own restaurant again, working as an assistant manager in a fast food joint and answering to a woman old enough to be my grandmother had its benefits.

On the personal side of life, my relationship with Sara had taken a slight turn since that day. No longer was she shutting me out and pushing me away. Those walls were gone and we spoke openly every chance we got. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to see her as much as I hoped. It's been three days since I started at the restaurant full time - I go into work at 5am and haven't been leaving before 3pm - Sara is normally asleep by the time I get home and I hate waking her.

I'm starting to plan a night or two away from this town for the both of us, I haven't told her about it yet, I'm looking to surprise her.